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Pucked #1
Pucked
With a famous NHL player for a stepbrother, Violet Hall is well acquainted with the playboy reputation of many a hockey star. So of course she isn't interested in legendary team captain Alex Waters or his pretty, beat-up face and rock-hard six-pack abs. But when Alex inadvertently obliterates Violet's misapprehension regarding the inferior intellect of hockey players, he becomes much more than just a hot body with the face to match. Suffering from a complete lapse in judgment, Violet discovers just how good Alex is with the hockey stick in his pants.
Violet believes her night of orgasmic magic with Alex is just that: one night. But Alex starts to call. And text. And email and send extravagant - and quirky - gifts. Suddenly he's too difficult to ignore and nearly impossible not to like. The problem is, the media portrays Alex as a total player, and Violet doesn't want to be part of the game.
Violet believes her night of orgasmic magic with Alex is just that: one night. But Alex starts to call. And text. And email and send extravagant - and quirky - gifts. Suddenly he's too difficult to ignore and nearly impossible not to like. The problem is, the media portrays Alex as a total player, and Violet doesn't want to be part of the game.
380 pages, Paperback
First published May 3, 2015
About the author
Helena Hunting
81 books23.5k followersHelena Hunting is the author of The USA Today and NYT bestselling PUCKED Series. She lives on the outskirts of Toronto with her incredibly tolerant family and two moderately intolerant cats. She writes everything from romantic sports comedy to new adult angst.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 7,132 reviews
May 26, 2016
I read this hilarious book in 2015. That was the same year Steve Harvey announced the wrong winner at the Miss Universe pageant. That doesn't have anything to do with this book, but I watched that moment on repeat like eighteen times.
December 6, 2022
1.5 PUCKE(D) ★'s
I'm still pretty much traumatized and haven't find a way to cope, except processing some of the trauma by writing it down. You may be lowkey traumatized too after reading it, but you know ✨sharing is caring ✨
Let's start with some numbers, because numbers are great and numbers don't lie.
Monster cock 47 times, MC short for Monster cock was mentioned 16 times. For a while I wasn't sure if Alex is the Hero of the story or if it's the Monster Cock, but after reading the entire story I can assure you, it's the second. Alex is just some side character who is attached to said MC.
Beaver the female part to describe MC's love interest was mentioned 67 times, the Beave additionally 12 times.
Beaver - the Beave .. Did Helena Hunting wanted to save time to write Beave instead Beaver? But then it really didn't really save time, cause she uses the "THE" with it. So what's the point I'm asking?
If I don't see these words again for the next century, it would be a still a century too early.
↳ ✧ SUMMARY ✧
Violet and Alex having sex all the time and Violet building a shrine in her room dedicating her life to worshipping Alex's monster dick. All the while slut shaming all the puck bunnies who throw themselves at Alex because he's a famous hockey player, thinking her shit doesn't stink. **SPOILER ALERT** IT DOES!
Helena Hunting wanted to use Alex's monster cock on the cover. Here is the original draft for the cover:
Editor: bu-bu-but Phuong, I only see a black picture?
Me: yes?
Editor: what is this?
Me: that's the monster cock duh. It's so ginormious that it blocks out all the light from the camera hence the black picture. Because of the huge size, it doesn't fit the frame of the camera and you only see like 1/10000 of his dick.
Editor: …
Editor: i- i don't know what to say.
Me: you and me both. i'm still awestruck by these events.
Editor: I can't work like this. We need another plan. It's either all or nothing.
Helena Hunting: Well, I have a great idea. How about we just use a naked hockey player who holds a hockey stick [as a metaphor for his other stick] for the cover and I will mention the monster cock a trillion times so the readers get a feeling about the dimensions.
Editor: DEAL!
anyyway ~
Violet is the worse case of word-vomit. The girl has no filter and I mean NONE. It's great if someone can share their opinion and thought so freely, not in Violet's case. I really wish she would THINK before she starts SPEAKING. Her case of TOO MUCH INFORMATION is 🤢🤢🤢 There are things you don't even know from a fictional character.
↪ Violet's case of wet dream:
↪ Violet turning her dream into reality. We love a proaktiv queen 🥴✊
⁉️ Where on earth did I go wrong? Let's discuss if I really deserved to read THAT ⁉️
↪ After Alex's dick nearly suffocating by Violet's creating invention, because it's too big and the cape wasn't loose enough.
If you find any of these quotes funny, you should read Pucked, because it's full of this kind of humor! But I'm ✨ traumatized ✨ for life.
┍━━━━━━━━━━━━━┑
PUCKED SERIES
#1 Pucked – 1.5 stars
#2 Pucked Up – 1.75 stars
#3 Pucked Over – 3.25 stars
#4 Forever Pucked – 2.5 stars
#4.5 Pucked Under – 2.25 stars
#5 Pucked Off – 2.5 stars
#6 Pucked Love – 2.25 stars
┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙
I'm still pretty much traumatized and haven't find a way to cope, except processing some of the trauma by writing it down. You may be lowkey traumatized too after reading it, but you know ✨sharing is caring ✨
Let's start with some numbers, because numbers are great and numbers don't lie.
Monster cock 47 times, MC short for Monster cock was mentioned 16 times. For a while I wasn't sure if Alex is the Hero of the story or if it's the Monster Cock, but after reading the entire story I can assure you, it's the second. Alex is just some side character who is attached to said MC.
Beaver the female part to describe MC's love interest was mentioned 67 times, the Beave additionally 12 times.
Beaver - the Beave .. Did Helena Hunting wanted to save time to write Beave instead Beaver? But then it really didn't really save time, cause she uses the "THE" with it. So what's the point I'm asking?
If I don't see these words again for the next century, it would be a still a century too early.
↳ ✧ SUMMARY ✧
Violet and Alex having sex all the time and Violet building a shrine in her room dedicating her life to worshipping Alex's monster dick. All the while slut shaming all the puck bunnies who throw themselves at Alex because he's a famous hockey player, thinking her shit doesn't stink. **SPOILER ALERT** IT DOES!
❝Nothing compares to you and the monster cock. He's in a league all his own.❞
❝My beaver is so excited she's gnawing at my underwear.❞
❝The monster cock springs free, nearly taking out my eye. I sigh as I touch the hot skin. "I missed you so much.❞
❝He wraps my legs around his waist, but keeps me high up, so we're face to face and the MC isn't touching the beave.❞
❝His monster of an erection nestles between my legs, and dear Lord, does it ever feel awesome. It could bust a zipper it's so huge. I imagine it with little fists, punching its way out, and giggle.❞---> What did I do to deserve this?
Helena Hunting wanted to use Alex's monster cock on the cover. Here is the original draft for the cover:
Editor: bu-bu-but Phuong, I only see a black picture?
Me: yes?
Editor: what is this?
Me: that's the monster cock duh. It's so ginormious that it blocks out all the light from the camera hence the black picture. Because of the huge size, it doesn't fit the frame of the camera and you only see like 1/10000 of his dick.
Editor: …
Editor: i- i don't know what to say.
Me: you and me both. i'm still awestruck by these events.
Editor: I can't work like this. We need another plan. It's either all or nothing.
Helena Hunting: Well, I have a great idea. How about we just use a naked hockey player who holds a hockey stick [as a metaphor for his other stick] for the cover and I will mention the monster cock a trillion times so the readers get a feeling about the dimensions.
Editor: DEAL!
anyyway ~
Violet is the worse case of word-vomit. The girl has no filter and I mean NONE. It's great if someone can share their opinion and thought so freely, not in Violet's case. I really wish she would THINK before she starts SPEAKING. Her case of TOO MUCH INFORMATION is 🤢🤢🤢 There are things you don't even know from a fictional character.
↪ Violet's case of wet dream:
❝I have the weirdest dreams ever. Alex’s monster cock is a superhero. He saves me from a giant boob ball that's rolling through the streets and crushing people. Super Penis has googly eyes, and he talks out of the come hole. His balls are his feet, and he wears a red cape with MC emblazoned on it. Oh, and he has a little mustache and a French accent. Like I said, it’s a bizarre dream.❞
↪ Violet turning her dream into reality. We love a proaktiv queen 🥴✊
❝“What are you up to?” My question is rewarded with more snickering and a very cute, worrisome snort.
“Your snuffie is a super hero.” Violet bursts into a fit of laughter. I glance down at my semi hard cock. “What the fuck? Are those googly eyes?” Violet nods excitedly. How I’ve managed to sleep through this will forever be one of life’s unsolved mysteries. My dick is wearing a cape, the googly eyes are stuck to the head in such a way that the hole at the tip looks like a mouth, and—“Did you draw a mustache on my dick?”
“I wanted him to be French Canadian.” Violet pets my dressed-up dick and adjusts the cape. For a few seconds, I debate whether or not this is a messed-up dream. However, the up and down motion of her hand is a good indicator it’s not. It’s difficult not to react to the petting, despite the really fucking weird scenario going on here. “Why French Canadian?”
“He’s suave, you know, like French guys? And romantic.”Violet gives my dick an affectionate stroke and leans in and kisses the tip—below the drawn on mustache. “I had a dream awhile back; Super MC had a French accent.” “Right.”
Because dreaming about my dick as a superhero isn’t strange enough. He’s got to have an accent. “Once, I dreamt he was wearing a tuxedo and we went to prom.”Violet circles the head with a fingertip. “The prom penis even had glasses.”❞
⁉️ Where on earth did I go wrong? Let's discuss if I really deserved to read THAT ⁉️
↪ After Alex's dick nearly suffocating by Violet's creating invention, because it's too big and the cape wasn't loose enough.
❝My dick is still hanging out of my shorts, shrinking slowly. I notice lettering on the back of the cape. I grab it out of her hand and inspect it. The M and C are designed in such a way to mimic the S on a Superman cape. It’s also blue and red.
“Where did you get this?”
“I made it.”
“You made a cape for my dick?”
I expect weirdness from Violet because frankly, sometimes she’s a little weird. Or a lot.❞
If you find any of these quotes funny, you should read Pucked, because it's full of this kind of humor! But I'm ✨ traumatized ✨ for life.
┍━━━━━━━━━━━━━┑
PUCKED SERIES
#1 Pucked – 1.5 stars
#2 Pucked Up – 1.75 stars
#3 Pucked Over – 3.25 stars
#4 Forever Pucked – 2.5 stars
#4.5 Pucked Under – 2.25 stars
#5 Pucked Off – 2.5 stars
#6 Pucked Love – 2.25 stars
┕━━━━━━━━━━━━━┙
February 10, 2022
Title: Pucked
Series: Standalone
Author: Helena Hunting
Release date: May 3rd, 2015
Cliffhanger: No
HEA
Well folks, I'm grappling with two conflicting urges. On one hand, I have a deep urge to rant over this book and let my annoyance rip. On the other hand, I'm attempting to reign in my stabby feelings out of respect for the review copy I was gifted. I'm not one to gleefully let loose on a book and tear it apart, but there are times when I feel so frustrated with the time spent on reading something, it's almost impossible to hold it in.
I can see where some people may find this book cute and quirky if this type of humor is your thing. But for me, I DID NOT connect with the writing style of this author whatsoever (this is my first read by her). From page one, I had a permanent eye squint and nose crinkle in frustration and/or confusion. And a "What is this?" feeling in the back of my mind that never really went away.
Case in point: what in the ever loving hell is up with the first sex scene? We're constantly bombarded with food similes. I ask you: what is remotely sexy about ANY of this from their first hook up??
He kisses me, soft and searching. Like gummy bears left out in the sun, I melt right into him.
His voice travels over my skin like marshmallows drenched in hot chocolate syrup.
It's not like he'll be able to fit more boob into his mouth. He spends a few minutes loving them like they're deluxe cheeseburgers after a night of binge drinking.
His voice is hot and sweet and hard; a Werther's Original sitting on a radiator.
Just no.
And if it wasn't one of these food gems, the writing went a little something like this:
I'm so wet. I couldn't be more ready if I jumped into a pool of lube.
What. The. Hell? I want to remove that image from my brain. Preferably with bleach.
What drew me into reading this book was simply the sports romance theme. I'm on a little reading kick with this genre and this book seemed cute, so I decided to give it a shot. What especially attracted me was the fact that the hero was a star hockey player whose manwhore reputation is completely unfounded. And after their one night stand, has to win the heroine over. Where did it miss the mark?
THE HEROINE.
I can't ever remember a heroine annoying me this badly. She has to be one of the worst I've ever read. Period. She had too many glaring character flaws that killed the story for me.
She was supposed to be awkward/cute.
She was just awkward.
She was supposed to be potty-mouthed, blunt and bold.
She was ANNOYING and IMMATURE.
I swear by all that is holy if this chick mentioned the size of this man's impossibly monstrous,vagina exploding, porn star sized, uncut cock less than once every paragraph, I would be amazed. You think I'm exaggerating, don't you? I wish I was.
The constant word vomit and worshipping of his holy-fuck-is-that-a-real-penis was OVERDONE. To the point that it actually became the theme of the story more than the supposed real plot of the book.
This quote right here could be the synopsis. No further explanation needed:
I'm so nervous, like a high schooler with a crush. On a guy with a dick the size of Canada.
The hero did not feel sexy to me. One minute he was confident, the next shy and uncertain. He was awkward. And unfortunately much like the heroine, not in a good way. At times the way he spoke made him appear as if he was a teenager with his first crush, stumbling over his words, and struggling to attain the most popular girl's attention. His personality was all over the place, and I struggled to drum up any excitement over his pursuit of the heroine. His obsession of the heroine's boobs was almost as bad as her obsession with his junk. He stared and groped them like they were the first pair he'd ever set eyes on.
To wrap it up: it appears I've failed miserably in containing my ragey feelings. I gave this one two stars and based on my overall reaction, I feel this is being highly generous. I gave it the extra star because there were brief moments where I found myself actually smiling at a few of the jokes. The heroine did tone down her overzealous humor after a certain point in the book and it allowed me to see past my initial strong distaste. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough to save the book for me, it was a complete miss this time around.
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August 15, 2017
★★★★ 1/2! Pucked, book 1 of 5. Steamy one-night stand with ice-hockey manwhore turns sexy, funny, romance & slight obsession with monster cock!
“I can’t wait to have my mouth on you again. I’m gonna eat you like I’m on death row and you’re my last goddamned meal.”
Books in the Pucked series should be read in order:
Book 1: Pucked - Alex & Violet
Book 1.1: A Pucked Holiday - Everyone
Book 2: Pucked Up - Buck & Sunny
Book 3: Pucked Over - Randy & Lily
Book 4: Forever Pucked - Alex & Violet
Book 4.1: AREA 51 - Everyone
Book 4.5: Pucked Under - Everyone
Book 5: Untitled
Pucked (book 1) opens up to Canadian ice hockey pro and team captain Alex Waters and recent College grad and junior accountant Violet Hall embarking on a one-night stand and goes on to follow them in the aftermath of their reckless and blissful night.
Alex who has a manwhore reputation to guard finds himself addicted to Violet’s boobs. While Violet, set on not falling for a player develops a fascination on the brink of obsession with Alex’s dick, which she lovingly and appropriately renames Monster cock aka MC aka Snuffleupagus.
“It’s a monster.”
Her nose scrunches in disgust. “You mean it’s deformed?”
“No. I mean it’s huge.”
“How huge?”
“Unnaturally huge.”
“Like a porno dick?”
“Exactly.”
Assuaging their appetite for each other, clouded by orgasms, they are lulled into dating. But both are ill prepared to deal with the media attention, paparazzi, fans, protective family, friends and foes.
Seven words to describe Alex Waters: Private, charming, noble, romantic, conflicted, determined and loyal and.
Seven words to describe Violet Hall: Quirky, witty, guarded, reflective, vulnerable, romantic and smart.
Pucked, told from dual POVs, is the mixture of hot and bothered sex, sweet romance, hilarious situations & inner dialogue, self-reflection and growth plus of course villains, lies and setbacks. There will be more of Alex and Violet throughout series and many side characters will get their own story too. Up next, book 1.1: A Pucked Holiday .
“I’m so pucked. There’d better be a support group for hockey hookers.”
***
Hero rating: 4.5 stars
Heroine rating: 4 stars
Sexual tension rating: 4.5 stars
Sex scenes rating: 5 stars
Sex scenes frequency: 5 stars
Plot rating: 4.5 stars
Dialogue rating: 4.5 stars
Storytelling rating: 5 stars
Story ending rating: 4 stars
**********************************************
Overall rating: 4.5 stars
Would I recommend this series: Yes.
Would I re-read this series: Maybe later.
Would I read future books by this author: Yes.
Read while chatting with Helena Hunting during Shh… IndieSTAR chat week: https://goo.gl/6FQ256
March 29, 2016
4 stars
I haven’t laughed this much while listening to an audio book in a while. Granted, a lot of the humor was immature and a little on the raunchy side, but still- very funny. If you love sports romances and you love to laugh, THIS is a book you need to read!
Violet Hall meets Alex Waters while going to a hockey game to see her step-brother, Buck, play. She’s not looking for anyone, but Alex finds her. Alex is the crazy good looking, playboy with a reputation, and team captain. Violet knows she should steer clear of him. But she can’t. One night though- what could it hurt? Spending one night with this hockey god changes everything for her.
Alex isn’t exactly what she thought he was. His reputation isn’t all true. He likes Violet. That much is obvious. I loved Alex and all his persistent and thoughtful gifts. He made it clear he wanted Violet and only Violet. The banter between these two was absolutely hilarious, even if a little juvenile at times. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. There was also lots and lots of sexy times.
I love hockey books. They are by far my favorite kind of sports romance. If you’re looking for a book with lots of humor, tons of steam, fun characters and a heartwarming story- pick this one up! The audio book was very entertaining!
I haven’t laughed this much while listening to an audio book in a while. Granted, a lot of the humor was immature and a little on the raunchy side, but still- very funny. If you love sports romances and you love to laugh, THIS is a book you need to read!
Violet Hall meets Alex Waters while going to a hockey game to see her step-brother, Buck, play. She’s not looking for anyone, but Alex finds her. Alex is the crazy good looking, playboy with a reputation, and team captain. Violet knows she should steer clear of him. But she can’t. One night though- what could it hurt? Spending one night with this hockey god changes everything for her.
Alex isn’t exactly what she thought he was. His reputation isn’t all true. He likes Violet. That much is obvious. I loved Alex and all his persistent and thoughtful gifts. He made it clear he wanted Violet and only Violet. The banter between these two was absolutely hilarious, even if a little juvenile at times. I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. There was also lots and lots of sexy times.
I love hockey books. They are by far my favorite kind of sports romance. If you’re looking for a book with lots of humor, tons of steam, fun characters and a heartwarming story- pick this one up! The audio book was very entertaining!
“I’m so glad you fought for me. You’re the best chance I’ve taken.”
October 27, 2020
4 Stars
I was in the mood for something smutty and light and, perhaps, a little funny. This has been languishing on my kindle for quite some time now and I thought it might fit the bill. And, boy, did it ever.
This was exactly in what I was in the mood for and I enjoyed it tremendously. I know some people might find Violet obnoxious, but she was my spirit animal throughout the book and I loved her. I also really liked Alex. Together they had explosive chemistry and adorable banter and I just loved them.
I think this might have been my first book from this author. I don't know what I've been doing this whole time.
Definitely missing out.
Definitely reading her whole back list now.
I was in the mood for something smutty and light and, perhaps, a little funny. This has been languishing on my kindle for quite some time now and I thought it might fit the bill. And, boy, did it ever.
This was exactly in what I was in the mood for and I enjoyed it tremendously. I know some people might find Violet obnoxious, but she was my spirit animal throughout the book and I loved her. I also really liked Alex. Together they had explosive chemistry and adorable banter and I just loved them.
I think this might have been my first book from this author. I don't know what I've been doing this whole time.
Definitely missing out.
Definitely reading her whole back list now.
Read
October 15, 2021One filterless girl, one hot hockey player and a whole lot of ridiculousness.
Amazon → http://amzn.to/1z0sUoJ
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UK → http://amzn.to/1EmydPm
AU → http://bit.ly/1HvHMOn
Nook → http://bit.ly/1GnjENK
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Kobo → http://bit.ly/1Js6Zdk
Google Play→ http://bit.ly/1K4VDtU
CHAPTER ONE
WTF MAKES VIOLENCE SO HOT?
VIOLET
It’s 6:51 on Thursday morning, and I’m thirty seconds away from an amazing orgasm. Women everywhere should take a page from the man manual. Just because I don’t sport the obvious signs men do, such as morning wood, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take care of my personal needs before I hit the shower. My day is always better when I start with a shot from the orgasm bottle.
I’m right there, teetering on the brink of heaven. Every nerve ending is on fire in the best way possible. My muscles are tight, fingers moving at a furious pace, the vibrator—God bless the damn vibrator—is hitting the s-s-s-spot, and everything is about to go blissfully white.
And that’s the moment my mother’s shrill voice breaks all orgasmic magic, destroying my morning jill-off. She must have let herself in again, as is typical.
Here’s the thing; I don’t live with my mom. I moved out more than four years ago—into the damn pool house. Technically, it’s on the same piece of property, but it’s supposed to be my private space. My refuge from my crazy awesome, albeit super-inappropriate mother.
The door to my bedroom crashes open as I shut off the vibe and pull up the covers. My vagina is raging. I can’t even begin to explain. It’s the female equivalent of blue balls.
“Mom!” I slump further under the comforter. “How many times do we need to have this talk?”
“You should be out of bed already! I have something for you!” She waves her hands around in the air like the crazy inflatable balloon guy on TV. It’s too much this early in my day.
“I literally just woke up. I need five minutes before we have a conversation, okay?”
Her arms fall to her sides, her shoulders dropping with her smile, which would make me feel bad, except she’s let herself into my home and barged into my bedroom unannounced. So all I have is frustration.
“Oh, sure.” Her dejection is blissfully short-lived. “How about I put on a pot of coffee?”
My mom loves to be useful, and while I’m annoyed, I don’t want to hurt her feelings in spite of the inconvenient interruption. “That’d be great.” Any reason to get her out of my room is a good one, but a fresh pot of coffee is more than welcome.
She backs out and closes the door, leaving me in peace. For three seconds I contemplate finishing what I started, but there’s no way I’m going to come with my mom tooling around in my kitchen. Instead, I toss my vibe into the nightstand and make a stop in the bathroom to wash my hands.
At twenty-two, I should be able to maintain some distance from my mother. However, she has a great deal of difficulty with the concept of personal space. In my freshman year of college, I threw out the idea of moving into an apartment close to campus. My mom and Sidney—my stepdad—had recently tied the knot. They were worse than virginal teenagers. I’ve had the misfortune of walking in on them in compromising positions more than once. The third time was my breaking point.
Guilt-ridden and embarrassed by the psychological damage he had caused, Sidney offered to renovate the pool house. I agreed only because it saved me thousands on rent.
When I first scored my job several months ago, I started looking for my own apartment again, in part because of the frequency of my mother’s unplanned visits. Being the ever helpful parent, she tagged along on the expedition and told me roommate horror stories à la Single White Female. Seeing as the only places I could reasonably afford were shared accommodations, I chose to stay put in the pool house a while longer. As I no longer carry the burden of tuition, revisiting that option seems like a good plan.
I wipe my vagina-scent-free hands on my T-shirt as I enter the kitchen. My mom sits at the table and leafs through one of the gossip rags she loves to read while she sips a cup of coffee.
“I think they made Buck look way worse here than he really is, don’t you?” She turns the magazine around so I can see the horrible pictures of my stepbrother.
I grab a mug, fill it with liquid heaven, and drop into the chair across from my mom. “I think Buck does a decent job of making himself look bad all on his own without the help of the media.”
My stepbrother is such a whore. I’m tempted to apply this label to all professional hockey players. It’s a blanket statement, an overzealous and possibly incorrect generalization. However, based on personal experience, I believe it’s true for the most part. It certainly applies to the one hockey player I dated last year. I consider him to be like Voldemort: he who shall not be named.
The third page of last week’s entertainment section confirms this hypothesis. The evidence is splashed all over the grainy two-page spread of Buck with his hand up some woman’s skirt. In a public bathroom. He appears to be devouring her face while getting her naked inside a stall—with the door open. So dirty.
The picture itself isn’t a surprise. Hundreds of similar images can be found through an Internet search. Buck has shared his manstick with half the female population in the continental US, and probably a few up in Canada. The woman he’s making out with is the problem. He’s not macking on a random hockey hooker. Oh no. It’s his former coach’s niece. Her name is Fran. She’s adorable, and now she looks like a total puck bunny, thanks to Buck.
In his defense, he said he didn’t know who she was. He’s not bright and he was hammered, so it likely was an honest mistake—not that it makes his whoring ways any less abhorrent. This little incident is the reason behind his recent trade to the Hawks. His return to Chicago means I’ll be seeing a lot more of him again.
“Well, I think they’ve blown this way out of proportion. Sidney’s excited to have him back in the city, though. Anyway . . .” She pushes a piece of paper toward me. Upon inspection, I realize it’s a plane ticket.
I snatch it up and frown. “What’s this? Why does it have my name on it? What’s in Atlanta?”
“Surprise!” She does jazz hands. “It’s Buck’s first away game with the Hawks.”
“Mom, I can’t—”
“We’re going as a family to support him. He’s had a rough couple of weeks.”
“It’s not my fault Buck can’t keep his dick in his pants and out of his coach’s niece.”
“Violet!” Her brow arches and her lips purse as if she’s sucking a lemon. “Don’t be so crass! This isn’t about Buck’s . . .” She trails off and gestures below the table.
“Yes it is. Buck doesn’t care if I come to his games.”
“He was very upset when you couldn’t make the last few. Maybe if you’d been at this one”—she points at the magazine—“he might not have gotten himself into so much trouble.”
“Are you guilting me into coming?” I glare over the rim of my mug.
“Not at all. I’m just throwing out hypotesticals.”
I cough-choke. “Do you mean hypotheticals?”
“That’s what I said.”
Correcting her is as pointless as fighting her on this. Once my mom makes up her mind, rationalizing an alternative is like slamming your head into a titanium wall—painful and futile. I need to reconsider the apartment situation.
I give getting out of going to the game a last-ditch effort. “I have to work this weekend.”
“No you don’t.”
“How do you know?”
She ignores the question. “A car will be at the house to pick us up at six.”
“I don’t get off until five. How are we even going to make it to the game on time?”
“The flight isn’t until tomorrow morning.” She taps the date on the ticket, which I’ve failed to read.
“Oh.” So much for finding a way out. It looks like I’m going to another hockey game. Yippee.
“It’ll be so much fun! We can go outlet shopping! Whelp, I’ve got to go! Don’t want to be late for my Pilates class!” She jumps up and bounces out the door, off to her next thing.
After my mom leaves, I check the time. I have half an hour to get ready. Nabbing the magazine from the table, I rush to my nightstand, grab my vibe, and hit the bathroom—first it needs a wash—then I flip to the milk advertisement. The subject matter is a fuckhot guy who completely misses his mouth and dribbles a glass of milk down his chest. I don’t know why it’s so hot. I mean, milk isn’t really a sexy drink, but whatever.
I heft my foot onto the vanity and go to town while looking at the milk porn guy. The orgasm I missed earlier takes me to the floor, and the magazine lands on my face. It doesn’t matter. I’m coming and it feels good.
The jilling session takes longer than I expect, so I have to drive faster than usual to get to work. As a recent graduate from the accounting program at the University of Illinois, I scored the job through my internship—which Sidney set up for me. Having a stepfather who scouts for the NHL does have some perks. I’m a junior accountant for a PR firm specializing in—wait for it—sports financial management. This includes investing professional hockey players’ fortunes. I’m surrounded by hockey all the time.
Charlene, my bestie and colleague, sits on the edge of my desk, sipping her coffee while I frantically organize files.
“I can’t go out tonight. I have too much to do for the Kuntz account,” I tell her.
“You’re bailing on me to work late on a Friday?”
“My mom’s making me go to Buck’s game tomorrow in Atlanta. Apparently, we need to band together as a family to support his inability to keep his dick in his pants.”
Charlene makes a sympathetic face. “He really messed up this time, didn’t he?”
“Don’t get me started. He’s such an idiot. Anyway, we’re flying out early in the morning, so I need to be prepared for Monday before I leave for the weekend.”
“Can’t you work on it while you’re there?”
“My mom wants to go shopping, so I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have. Plus, I have a hundred pages to finish for book club on Tuesday.”
Charlene rolls her eyes. “Friggin’ Lydia. I say we blackball her out of the club.”
“You can’t blackball people out of a book club.”
“Says who? I was happy reading mindless smut. I’m buying the CliffsNotes.”
It’s not a half-bad idea. Although being the competitive person I am, I would hate to go into the book club discussion with only a vague understanding of the crappy book Lydia’s making us read. I’ll suffer through it if I can come up with an intelligent argument why it’s so terrible.
“I’ll probably bring the book to the game in case I can get in some reading time.”
“Oh, come on, Vi. The Hawks are having a killer season. I bet the game will be awesome.”
“Uh-huh.” I’m sure she’s not wrong. However, I don’t have the same warm fuzzies toward the game or the players as Charlene.
She’s been a die-hard Hawks fan her entire life. She watches every game and even participates in those pools where you create your own team. Like Fantasy Football, except with hockey.
“Anyway.” Charlene flaps her hand around. “That’s not the point. The point is you’ll be hobnobbing with the players afterward, right? Which means you’ll meet Darren Westinghouse.”
“Who?”
Charlene curls her lip and gives me a snooty look. “He plays right wing for the Hawks.” She starts listing his stats; it sounds something like blah, blah, blah. I tune most of it out until she asks, “Will you take a picture of him if you get the chance?”
“First of all, Char, hockey players don’t ‘hobnob,’ they hang out. Second, I plan to skip the after-party crap. I’ll have to catch up on work.” I pat the file folders on my desk.
“What a load of BS!” She looks around to make sure no one is paying attention. Jimmy, whose cubicle is across from mine, raises an eyebrow and points to the phone at his ear, so Charlene lowers her voice. “Come on, Violet, you have to go. For me, please? Just long enough to snap a pic. Then you can go be boring in your hotel room by yourself.”
“I’d send you in my place if I could.”
I have no problem watching hockey, even though the rules evade me for the most part. Some of those boys are hot, but the appeal ends there. Buck is a perfect example, as is the one—and only—hockey player I ever dated. He wasn’t even an NHLer, just some douche in the minors I went out with last year looking for a leg up. Unfortunately, I turned out to be the owner of said leg. Not only was he awful in bed—just because those boys are built doesn’t mean they’ve got the equipment to match—he also humiliated me in a way I’m not likely to forget anytime soon.
“Come on, Vi. You can enjoy the man candy, if nothing else.”
“Yeah, because skanky guys are such a turn on.”
“Darren’s not a skank.”
I appease her rather than argue. “I’ll see about the photobomb. No guarantees.” Mostly the after-parties are a food free-for-all for the players, complemented by hordes of bunnies looking to be dessert.
She squeals and claps her hands. “You’re the best!”
I hold up my hands. “No promises, but I’ll try.”
Charlene convinces me to break for lunch, and we gorge at the all-you-can-eat Thai buffet nearby. Fortunately, the amount of food I consume doesn’t slow my roll in the afternoon.
By nine in the evening I can no longer focus on the computer screen. My stomach is growling so loudly I keep checking to make sure a bear hasn’t wandered into the office.
Drive-thru fast food is my poison of choice. I scarf down three tiny burgers and a large fries while I drive home. I reluctantly skip the milkshake because indigestion and flying don’t mesh well.
My mother has left a sticky note on my door to remind me we’re leaving for the airport at ass o’clock in morning—those are my words, not hers. The logical thing to do would be to pack my stuff and go to bed so I’m not exhausted in the morning. Instead, I change into a T-shirt and my favorite pair of Marvel Comic-inspired boxer briefs—they fit so nicely—and channel surf. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, my mom is standing over me.
“Violet! Why are you still sleeping? We should’ve left ten minutes ago! We’ll miss the flight.” Her shrill morning voice functions as the worst kind of alarm.
I try to hide under a throw pillow, but she snatches it away.
“Get up, get up, get up!” She grabs my arm and pulls, forcing me to my feet.
Due to my complete lack of preparation, I pack in a rush, tossing clothes into a bag at random while I pull on jeans. I grab the first bra I find; it’s extra loud, boasting a fuchsia leopard-print pattern and black lace accents. I don’t have time to search for something else—not with my mom tapping her talon nails on my door, hovering as usual. I have the foresight to pack my copy of Tom Jones so I can finish it for Tuesday’s book club discussion.
My mom drags me to the car while I’m zipping up my bag, afraid we’ll miss our plane. She’s totally overreacting. We only have to speed-walk through the airport to make it to our gate for boarding.
Sidney, being the awesome guy he is, books first-class tickets. The seats are roomy and comfortable. This allows me to pass out until the flight attendant comes by to offer drinks. I ask for a mimosa—it’s mostly orange juice—and leaf through the copy of The Hockey News Sidney brought. It’s the same old, same old. Stats and more stats with a few pictures of disheveled, hot hockey players scattered within.
I abandon the magazine and pull out my copy of Tom Jones. Maybe it’ll bore me back to sleep. I’m annoyed I have to finish this for Tuesday. I like reading. Hell, I even took a couple of English lit classes in college purely for enjoyment. I might’ve enjoyed this book had it not followed on the heels of the fun, sex-filled stories I’ve partaken of lately.
After reading the same paragraph twenty times, I give up and play mindless games on my phone for the rest of the flight.
There’s a car waiting for us at the airport—because that’s how Sidney rolls—and we’re whisked away to the hotel. It’s the same one the team is staying at, so it’ll be easy to escape the after celebrations should the Hawks win.
However, we run into a bit of an issue with the hotel concierge. They’ve booked us a suite. This wasn’t part of the deal; I expected to have my own room. I bite my tongue and pretend it’s totally fine because I don’t want to appear ungrateful—even though I didn’t ask to come on this impromptu trip in the first place.
On the upside, the suite is huge. There’s a spacious living room, and I have my own bedroom with a private bath, complete with a Jacuzzi tub. I lock myself away and have a two-hour soak, where I once again try to read more of my book. I accidentally get the cover wet and have to lay it on the vent to dry.
Getting dressed is an adventure. I did a crap job packing. I’m fortunate enough to have a pair of black jeans to wear. Sadly, the only bra I have is the fuchsia one, which worked with the black hoodie I wore on the plane. However, I’m clean, so I’m not recycling the hoodie, and my options are limited to a pale pink tee or a blue one with stains on the boob. The pink one will have to do. I pull on the shirt and check out my reflection in the mirror. Oh yeah, the leopard print is way obvious through the thin fabric. I cover it up with a light sweater and call my outfit a success.
Glasses fog in arenas, so I jam in my contact lenses. I also look much less nerdy without glasses, and considering I have to meet a whole new set of teammates tonight, I’ll use all the anti-nerd help I can get.
By the time I finally get my contact lenses to stay on my eyeballs—it takes three tries—there isn’t time for my mom to assault my face with her pallet of eye shadow. She’s a big fan of blue. I always end up looking like someone from a 70s sitcom.
Armed with my wool coat and my messenger bag, which houses a scarf, mittens, hat, my semidry copy of Tom Jones, and my phone, I’m game ready. As an afterthought, I check for my pack of cigarettes. I don’t actually smoke. They’re my crutch when I want to extricate myself from uncomfortable social situations. It happens a lot. I’ve learned to release the smoke slowly so people don’t notice I’m not inhaling.
The arena is packed. Luckily, we have great seats, and Sidney knows everyone, so getting to the first row isn’t a problem. I settle in, appreciating the ample legroom and unobstructed view of center ice. Sidney orders a round of beers as the Hawks take the ice. Half the crowd explodes into cheers despite it being an away game.
I’m mesmerized by the way these guys glide over the perilously slick surface with such ease. I’m petrified of skating, much like some people are afraid of snakes and spiders. Wearing blades on my feet screams of danger. I struggled mastering Downward Facing Dog; I don’t need to slice open an artery in an attempt to expand my sports repertoire.
Sidney stands and pumps his fist in the air as Buck skates onto the ice. Buck is mammoth, like a yeti. A huge, perverted, hairy whore of a yeti. According to the sportscasters, Buck’s an excellent hockey player. I’d agree, based on his yearly salary alone. No one gets that much money for sucking, not even extremely skilled prostitutes.
Behind me, a gaggle of girls—whose skirts could double as headbands—giggle obnoxiously about some guy named Alex Waters. The name is vaguely familiar. They mention a hat trick. He must be an awesome player to pull off one of those.
Their discussion takes an interesting turn when one girl brings up the size of individual team members’ junk. I assume they get their stats from personal experience.
At the drop of the puck, penis conversations cease.
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CHAPTER ONE
WTF MAKES VIOLENCE SO HOT?
VIOLET
It’s 6:51 on Thursday morning, and I’m thirty seconds away from an amazing orgasm. Women everywhere should take a page from the man manual. Just because I don’t sport the obvious signs men do, such as morning wood, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t take care of my personal needs before I hit the shower. My day is always better when I start with a shot from the orgasm bottle.
I’m right there, teetering on the brink of heaven. Every nerve ending is on fire in the best way possible. My muscles are tight, fingers moving at a furious pace, the vibrator—God bless the damn vibrator—is hitting the s-s-s-spot, and everything is about to go blissfully white.
And that’s the moment my mother’s shrill voice breaks all orgasmic magic, destroying my morning jill-off. She must have let herself in again, as is typical.
Here’s the thing; I don’t live with my mom. I moved out more than four years ago—into the damn pool house. Technically, it’s on the same piece of property, but it’s supposed to be my private space. My refuge from my crazy awesome, albeit super-inappropriate mother.
The door to my bedroom crashes open as I shut off the vibe and pull up the covers. My vagina is raging. I can’t even begin to explain. It’s the female equivalent of blue balls.
“Mom!” I slump further under the comforter. “How many times do we need to have this talk?”
“You should be out of bed already! I have something for you!” She waves her hands around in the air like the crazy inflatable balloon guy on TV. It’s too much this early in my day.
“I literally just woke up. I need five minutes before we have a conversation, okay?”
Her arms fall to her sides, her shoulders dropping with her smile, which would make me feel bad, except she’s let herself into my home and barged into my bedroom unannounced. So all I have is frustration.
“Oh, sure.” Her dejection is blissfully short-lived. “How about I put on a pot of coffee?”
My mom loves to be useful, and while I’m annoyed, I don’t want to hurt her feelings in spite of the inconvenient interruption. “That’d be great.” Any reason to get her out of my room is a good one, but a fresh pot of coffee is more than welcome.
She backs out and closes the door, leaving me in peace. For three seconds I contemplate finishing what I started, but there’s no way I’m going to come with my mom tooling around in my kitchen. Instead, I toss my vibe into the nightstand and make a stop in the bathroom to wash my hands.
At twenty-two, I should be able to maintain some distance from my mother. However, she has a great deal of difficulty with the concept of personal space. In my freshman year of college, I threw out the idea of moving into an apartment close to campus. My mom and Sidney—my stepdad—had recently tied the knot. They were worse than virginal teenagers. I’ve had the misfortune of walking in on them in compromising positions more than once. The third time was my breaking point.
Guilt-ridden and embarrassed by the psychological damage he had caused, Sidney offered to renovate the pool house. I agreed only because it saved me thousands on rent.
When I first scored my job several months ago, I started looking for my own apartment again, in part because of the frequency of my mother’s unplanned visits. Being the ever helpful parent, she tagged along on the expedition and told me roommate horror stories à la Single White Female. Seeing as the only places I could reasonably afford were shared accommodations, I chose to stay put in the pool house a while longer. As I no longer carry the burden of tuition, revisiting that option seems like a good plan.
I wipe my vagina-scent-free hands on my T-shirt as I enter the kitchen. My mom sits at the table and leafs through one of the gossip rags she loves to read while she sips a cup of coffee.
“I think they made Buck look way worse here than he really is, don’t you?” She turns the magazine around so I can see the horrible pictures of my stepbrother.
I grab a mug, fill it with liquid heaven, and drop into the chair across from my mom. “I think Buck does a decent job of making himself look bad all on his own without the help of the media.”
My stepbrother is such a whore. I’m tempted to apply this label to all professional hockey players. It’s a blanket statement, an overzealous and possibly incorrect generalization. However, based on personal experience, I believe it’s true for the most part. It certainly applies to the one hockey player I dated last year. I consider him to be like Voldemort: he who shall not be named.
The third page of last week’s entertainment section confirms this hypothesis. The evidence is splashed all over the grainy two-page spread of Buck with his hand up some woman’s skirt. In a public bathroom. He appears to be devouring her face while getting her naked inside a stall—with the door open. So dirty.
The picture itself isn’t a surprise. Hundreds of similar images can be found through an Internet search. Buck has shared his manstick with half the female population in the continental US, and probably a few up in Canada. The woman he’s making out with is the problem. He’s not macking on a random hockey hooker. Oh no. It’s his former coach’s niece. Her name is Fran. She’s adorable, and now she looks like a total puck bunny, thanks to Buck.
In his defense, he said he didn’t know who she was. He’s not bright and he was hammered, so it likely was an honest mistake—not that it makes his whoring ways any less abhorrent. This little incident is the reason behind his recent trade to the Hawks. His return to Chicago means I’ll be seeing a lot more of him again.
“Well, I think they’ve blown this way out of proportion. Sidney’s excited to have him back in the city, though. Anyway . . .” She pushes a piece of paper toward me. Upon inspection, I realize it’s a plane ticket.
I snatch it up and frown. “What’s this? Why does it have my name on it? What’s in Atlanta?”
“Surprise!” She does jazz hands. “It’s Buck’s first away game with the Hawks.”
“Mom, I can’t—”
“We’re going as a family to support him. He’s had a rough couple of weeks.”
“It’s not my fault Buck can’t keep his dick in his pants and out of his coach’s niece.”
“Violet!” Her brow arches and her lips purse as if she’s sucking a lemon. “Don’t be so crass! This isn’t about Buck’s . . .” She trails off and gestures below the table.
“Yes it is. Buck doesn’t care if I come to his games.”
“He was very upset when you couldn’t make the last few. Maybe if you’d been at this one”—she points at the magazine—“he might not have gotten himself into so much trouble.”
“Are you guilting me into coming?” I glare over the rim of my mug.
“Not at all. I’m just throwing out hypotesticals.”
I cough-choke. “Do you mean hypotheticals?”
“That’s what I said.”
Correcting her is as pointless as fighting her on this. Once my mom makes up her mind, rationalizing an alternative is like slamming your head into a titanium wall—painful and futile. I need to reconsider the apartment situation.
I give getting out of going to the game a last-ditch effort. “I have to work this weekend.”
“No you don’t.”
“How do you know?”
She ignores the question. “A car will be at the house to pick us up at six.”
“I don’t get off until five. How are we even going to make it to the game on time?”
“The flight isn’t until tomorrow morning.” She taps the date on the ticket, which I’ve failed to read.
“Oh.” So much for finding a way out. It looks like I’m going to another hockey game. Yippee.
“It’ll be so much fun! We can go outlet shopping! Whelp, I’ve got to go! Don’t want to be late for my Pilates class!” She jumps up and bounces out the door, off to her next thing.
After my mom leaves, I check the time. I have half an hour to get ready. Nabbing the magazine from the table, I rush to my nightstand, grab my vibe, and hit the bathroom—first it needs a wash—then I flip to the milk advertisement. The subject matter is a fuckhot guy who completely misses his mouth and dribbles a glass of milk down his chest. I don’t know why it’s so hot. I mean, milk isn’t really a sexy drink, but whatever.
I heft my foot onto the vanity and go to town while looking at the milk porn guy. The orgasm I missed earlier takes me to the floor, and the magazine lands on my face. It doesn’t matter. I’m coming and it feels good.
The jilling session takes longer than I expect, so I have to drive faster than usual to get to work. As a recent graduate from the accounting program at the University of Illinois, I scored the job through my internship—which Sidney set up for me. Having a stepfather who scouts for the NHL does have some perks. I’m a junior accountant for a PR firm specializing in—wait for it—sports financial management. This includes investing professional hockey players’ fortunes. I’m surrounded by hockey all the time.
Charlene, my bestie and colleague, sits on the edge of my desk, sipping her coffee while I frantically organize files.
“I can’t go out tonight. I have too much to do for the Kuntz account,” I tell her.
“You’re bailing on me to work late on a Friday?”
“My mom’s making me go to Buck’s game tomorrow in Atlanta. Apparently, we need to band together as a family to support his inability to keep his dick in his pants.”
Charlene makes a sympathetic face. “He really messed up this time, didn’t he?”
“Don’t get me started. He’s such an idiot. Anyway, we’re flying out early in the morning, so I need to be prepared for Monday before I leave for the weekend.”
“Can’t you work on it while you’re there?”
“My mom wants to go shopping, so I’m not sure how much free time I’ll have. Plus, I have a hundred pages to finish for book club on Tuesday.”
Charlene rolls her eyes. “Friggin’ Lydia. I say we blackball her out of the club.”
“You can’t blackball people out of a book club.”
“Says who? I was happy reading mindless smut. I’m buying the CliffsNotes.”
It’s not a half-bad idea. Although being the competitive person I am, I would hate to go into the book club discussion with only a vague understanding of the crappy book Lydia’s making us read. I’ll suffer through it if I can come up with an intelligent argument why it’s so terrible.
“I’ll probably bring the book to the game in case I can get in some reading time.”
“Oh, come on, Vi. The Hawks are having a killer season. I bet the game will be awesome.”
“Uh-huh.” I’m sure she’s not wrong. However, I don’t have the same warm fuzzies toward the game or the players as Charlene.
She’s been a die-hard Hawks fan her entire life. She watches every game and even participates in those pools where you create your own team. Like Fantasy Football, except with hockey.
“Anyway.” Charlene flaps her hand around. “That’s not the point. The point is you’ll be hobnobbing with the players afterward, right? Which means you’ll meet Darren Westinghouse.”
“Who?”
Charlene curls her lip and gives me a snooty look. “He plays right wing for the Hawks.” She starts listing his stats; it sounds something like blah, blah, blah. I tune most of it out until she asks, “Will you take a picture of him if you get the chance?”
“First of all, Char, hockey players don’t ‘hobnob,’ they hang out. Second, I plan to skip the after-party crap. I’ll have to catch up on work.” I pat the file folders on my desk.
“What a load of BS!” She looks around to make sure no one is paying attention. Jimmy, whose cubicle is across from mine, raises an eyebrow and points to the phone at his ear, so Charlene lowers her voice. “Come on, Violet, you have to go. For me, please? Just long enough to snap a pic. Then you can go be boring in your hotel room by yourself.”
“I’d send you in my place if I could.”
I have no problem watching hockey, even though the rules evade me for the most part. Some of those boys are hot, but the appeal ends there. Buck is a perfect example, as is the one—and only—hockey player I ever dated. He wasn’t even an NHLer, just some douche in the minors I went out with last year looking for a leg up. Unfortunately, I turned out to be the owner of said leg. Not only was he awful in bed—just because those boys are built doesn’t mean they’ve got the equipment to match—he also humiliated me in a way I’m not likely to forget anytime soon.
“Come on, Vi. You can enjoy the man candy, if nothing else.”
“Yeah, because skanky guys are such a turn on.”
“Darren’s not a skank.”
I appease her rather than argue. “I’ll see about the photobomb. No guarantees.” Mostly the after-parties are a food free-for-all for the players, complemented by hordes of bunnies looking to be dessert.
She squeals and claps her hands. “You’re the best!”
I hold up my hands. “No promises, but I’ll try.”
Charlene convinces me to break for lunch, and we gorge at the all-you-can-eat Thai buffet nearby. Fortunately, the amount of food I consume doesn’t slow my roll in the afternoon.
By nine in the evening I can no longer focus on the computer screen. My stomach is growling so loudly I keep checking to make sure a bear hasn’t wandered into the office.
Drive-thru fast food is my poison of choice. I scarf down three tiny burgers and a large fries while I drive home. I reluctantly skip the milkshake because indigestion and flying don’t mesh well.
My mother has left a sticky note on my door to remind me we’re leaving for the airport at ass o’clock in morning—those are my words, not hers. The logical thing to do would be to pack my stuff and go to bed so I’m not exhausted in the morning. Instead, I change into a T-shirt and my favorite pair of Marvel Comic-inspired boxer briefs—they fit so nicely—and channel surf. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I know, my mom is standing over me.
“Violet! Why are you still sleeping? We should’ve left ten minutes ago! We’ll miss the flight.” Her shrill morning voice functions as the worst kind of alarm.
I try to hide under a throw pillow, but she snatches it away.
“Get up, get up, get up!” She grabs my arm and pulls, forcing me to my feet.
Due to my complete lack of preparation, I pack in a rush, tossing clothes into a bag at random while I pull on jeans. I grab the first bra I find; it’s extra loud, boasting a fuchsia leopard-print pattern and black lace accents. I don’t have time to search for something else—not with my mom tapping her talon nails on my door, hovering as usual. I have the foresight to pack my copy of Tom Jones so I can finish it for Tuesday’s book club discussion.
My mom drags me to the car while I’m zipping up my bag, afraid we’ll miss our plane. She’s totally overreacting. We only have to speed-walk through the airport to make it to our gate for boarding.
Sidney, being the awesome guy he is, books first-class tickets. The seats are roomy and comfortable. This allows me to pass out until the flight attendant comes by to offer drinks. I ask for a mimosa—it’s mostly orange juice—and leaf through the copy of The Hockey News Sidney brought. It’s the same old, same old. Stats and more stats with a few pictures of disheveled, hot hockey players scattered within.
I abandon the magazine and pull out my copy of Tom Jones. Maybe it’ll bore me back to sleep. I’m annoyed I have to finish this for Tuesday. I like reading. Hell, I even took a couple of English lit classes in college purely for enjoyment. I might’ve enjoyed this book had it not followed on the heels of the fun, sex-filled stories I’ve partaken of lately.
After reading the same paragraph twenty times, I give up and play mindless games on my phone for the rest of the flight.
There’s a car waiting for us at the airport—because that’s how Sidney rolls—and we’re whisked away to the hotel. It’s the same one the team is staying at, so it’ll be easy to escape the after celebrations should the Hawks win.
However, we run into a bit of an issue with the hotel concierge. They’ve booked us a suite. This wasn’t part of the deal; I expected to have my own room. I bite my tongue and pretend it’s totally fine because I don’t want to appear ungrateful—even though I didn’t ask to come on this impromptu trip in the first place.
On the upside, the suite is huge. There’s a spacious living room, and I have my own bedroom with a private bath, complete with a Jacuzzi tub. I lock myself away and have a two-hour soak, where I once again try to read more of my book. I accidentally get the cover wet and have to lay it on the vent to dry.
Getting dressed is an adventure. I did a crap job packing. I’m fortunate enough to have a pair of black jeans to wear. Sadly, the only bra I have is the fuchsia one, which worked with the black hoodie I wore on the plane. However, I’m clean, so I’m not recycling the hoodie, and my options are limited to a pale pink tee or a blue one with stains on the boob. The pink one will have to do. I pull on the shirt and check out my reflection in the mirror. Oh yeah, the leopard print is way obvious through the thin fabric. I cover it up with a light sweater and call my outfit a success.
Glasses fog in arenas, so I jam in my contact lenses. I also look much less nerdy without glasses, and considering I have to meet a whole new set of teammates tonight, I’ll use all the anti-nerd help I can get.
By the time I finally get my contact lenses to stay on my eyeballs—it takes three tries—there isn’t time for my mom to assault my face with her pallet of eye shadow. She’s a big fan of blue. I always end up looking like someone from a 70s sitcom.
Armed with my wool coat and my messenger bag, which houses a scarf, mittens, hat, my semidry copy of Tom Jones, and my phone, I’m game ready. As an afterthought, I check for my pack of cigarettes. I don’t actually smoke. They’re my crutch when I want to extricate myself from uncomfortable social situations. It happens a lot. I’ve learned to release the smoke slowly so people don’t notice I’m not inhaling.
The arena is packed. Luckily, we have great seats, and Sidney knows everyone, so getting to the first row isn’t a problem. I settle in, appreciating the ample legroom and unobstructed view of center ice. Sidney orders a round of beers as the Hawks take the ice. Half the crowd explodes into cheers despite it being an away game.
I’m mesmerized by the way these guys glide over the perilously slick surface with such ease. I’m petrified of skating, much like some people are afraid of snakes and spiders. Wearing blades on my feet screams of danger. I struggled mastering Downward Facing Dog; I don’t need to slice open an artery in an attempt to expand my sports repertoire.
Sidney stands and pumps his fist in the air as Buck skates onto the ice. Buck is mammoth, like a yeti. A huge, perverted, hairy whore of a yeti. According to the sportscasters, Buck’s an excellent hockey player. I’d agree, based on his yearly salary alone. No one gets that much money for sucking, not even extremely skilled prostitutes.
Behind me, a gaggle of girls—whose skirts could double as headbands—giggle obnoxiously about some guy named Alex Waters. The name is vaguely familiar. They mention a hat trick. He must be an awesome player to pull off one of those.
Their discussion takes an interesting turn when one girl brings up the size of individual team members’ junk. I assume they get their stats from personal experience.
At the drop of the puck, penis conversations cease.
May 5, 2015
☆I received an ARC via the book's publicist in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!!☆
I'm so sorry readers, please don't raise your pitchforks at me!
There was basically no story, no character personality inkling or development, and no romance growth at all.
I just don't get it. I LOVE and ADORE hockey romances but this one was painted with a male protagonist who had nothing going up there except his libido; and a female who is supposed to be an intelligent accountant but acts nothing more than an obnoxious bimbo/adolescent teen.
I mean, if you're into hearing about a:
*snuffie
*Super MC ("monster c*#k")
*beaver
*yeti
And
*CONSTANT boob and d*ck oogling and groping
*As well as "mouth f*#king"
A billion of times throughout the book, with an overload of sex references, then hey this book is for you.
I just wish it had more actual content as I was actually enjoying the first 5% and then it turned upside down into a baffling circus show.
I'm sorry, I'm usually more lenient and not harsh and critical on my reads but this one had hit a point of no return for me...
I'm so sorry readers, please don't raise your pitchforks at me!
There was basically no story, no character personality inkling or development, and no romance growth at all.
I just don't get it. I LOVE and ADORE hockey romances but this one was painted with a male protagonist who had nothing going up there except his libido; and a female who is supposed to be an intelligent accountant but acts nothing more than an obnoxious bimbo/adolescent teen.
I mean, if you're into hearing about a:
*snuffie
*Super MC ("monster c*#k")
*beaver
*yeti
And
*CONSTANT boob and d*ck oogling and groping
*As well as "mouth f*#king"
A billion of times throughout the book, with an overload of sex references, then hey this book is for you.
I just wish it had more actual content as I was actually enjoying the first 5% and then it turned upside down into a baffling circus show.
I'm sorry, I'm usually more lenient and not harsh and critical on my reads but this one had hit a point of no return for me...
December 30, 2015
True romance of Beaver and Super Mc
The Hockey star meets a reluctant Puck bunny .
The book is so funny, had me in splits the entire time. Violet is written so wittily, I wanna be like her. She's highly inappropriate, no filter , no holds barred girl, who meets Alex Waters. There's instant chemistry bet the bunny and the Lumbersexual .
Story is not much, albeit very smart witty writing, that makes it a must read .
the situations are so funny, esp the " Caping " of the MC, the Beaver bruise, nd violets hilarious musings are so so entertaining
a must light read
The Hockey star meets a reluctant Puck bunny .
The book is so funny, had me in splits the entire time. Violet is written so wittily, I wanna be like her. She's highly inappropriate, no filter , no holds barred girl, who meets Alex Waters. There's instant chemistry bet the bunny and the Lumbersexual .
Story is not much, albeit very smart witty writing, that makes it a must read .
the situations are so funny, esp the " Caping " of the MC, the Beaver bruise, nd violets hilarious musings are so so entertaining
a must light read
July 3, 2021
The most pretentious romance novels were written circa 2015. I can’t even believe the casual slut-shaming and the -I’m not like most girls bc I read Tolstoy and have natural boobs- vibe that’s going on.
I laughed at and not with them.
May 13, 2015
If you date a hockey player, raise your glass.
If you
4 Dibs on the PUCKING Captain STARS
Alex and Violet ♥
Cause you know I love the players
And you love the game ..►♫
HOCKEY BOOK? hmm .. sign ME UP! It's official .. these hockey books that I've read lately have
Sign me up for Alex Waters Anonymous.
I'm pretty fast if I'm chasing after something I want.
Especially with that damn beard.
He's all rustic and lumbersexual looking.
#BeardAppreciation. One physical feature that never fails to lure me in is a freaking beard. GOD DAYUM ... here's my mini rant? .. wait can a rant be
His beard is neatly groomed,
unlike some of the other guys
who look like they crawled out of the
alleyway and decided to play professional hockey.
At so many points I literally LOL'D .. yes I used LOL as a verb. Some of that dialogue though .. freaking COMICAL! Especially the sh*t Violet says/ thinks .. I swear she is one weird a*s woman (stated in the nicest way possible). Although she is not the
Egg whites are full of protein.
So is jizz.
You don't see meharvestingyours so
I can drink a glass of it.
That's from a person?
It smells like a rotting sweaty
corpse was dragged through the hallway.
Beavers, Tim Hortons, Ice-Hockey, Maple Syrup EH = CANADIANISM
UHMMM. okay? Still a little offended over here. A lot of those stereotypes were generalizations about Canada. As a Canadian .. it did bother me. I know it was all in good harm and all however at points I was thinking REALLY ?! Helena Hunting REALLY?! YOU'RE CANADIAN TOO! At points it made the story
Pucked Helena Hunting
January 28, 2016
Unpopular opinion coming...
I couldn't get into this book at all. For me, it was like there was no actual story, just bad sex scenes. I felt like it was really immature erotica with all the references to her "beaver" and his "wiener." The blurb seemed really interesting and I was excited to read this but once I started I was disappointed.
The characters were lacking for me and had no character development at all. I didn't like Violet from the beginning, she just seemed really judgmental, especially of hockey players. There were too many times where she put others down because she thought they were dumb, and that turned me off of her character.
Alex wasn't what I was expecting either. He wasn't alpha or sexy in any way for me. What was supposed to be awkwardly cute, I think, came out as more pathetic. He wasn't sure of himself at all, and he was a little too stalkerish and clingy.
I hate giving bad reviews, and I wish I had something nice to say about Pucked, but this was just not for me.
Euphemisms that should not be used:
"Pillows of love"
"Love stick"
"Winkie"
"Doodle" (seriously?!?)
"Cooter"
I couldn't get into this book at all. For me, it was like there was no actual story, just bad sex scenes. I felt like it was really immature erotica with all the references to her "beaver" and his "wiener." The blurb seemed really interesting and I was excited to read this but once I started I was disappointed.
The characters were lacking for me and had no character development at all. I didn't like Violet from the beginning, she just seemed really judgmental, especially of hockey players. There were too many times where she put others down because she thought they were dumb, and that turned me off of her character.
I feel sorry for him; as much as I've grown to like him over the past five years, he got the short end of the intellectual fortitude stick
Alex wasn't what I was expecting either. He wasn't alpha or sexy in any way for me. What was supposed to be awkwardly cute, I think, came out as more pathetic. He wasn't sure of himself at all, and he was a little too stalkerish and clingy.
I hate giving bad reviews, and I wish I had something nice to say about Pucked, but this was just not for me.
Euphemisms that should not be used:
"Pillows of love"
"Love stick"
"Winkie"
"Doodle" (seriously?!?)
"Cooter"
May 30, 2019
I didn't realise Canadian's sounded so Irish... 😉
This is the kind of audio that I really look forward to. I've read the story, know what's going to happen and I'm prepared for every bump in the road to happiness. I can relax sit back and enjoy the journey without stressing about background noises or my attention drifting. It doesn't always happen, but if there's a lot going on around me, I can sometimes get distracted from the storyline. In Pucked, I was able to follow along well, get a bunch of laughs (embarassingly, on the train...again) and experience the connection of the main characters.
The narrators do a good job but admit to loving the female narrator a touch more. She is easy to listen to and jumps from a male to a female character with ease. The male narrator was ok but admit to being a little distracted from the storyline by his accent. I'm convinced he's Irish, or maybe originally born in Ireland. Lots of rolling with an almost melodic flow to his narration. It was all good, though.
I'm glad I got the chance to listen to Pucked and I'm keen to try a few more audios of this series.
No change in rating as I enjoyed the audio as much as the read.
**********
All the stars and planets aligned.
For me, a book has to cross A LOT of hurdles to be a five-star read. The cover must be appealing, both the hero and heroine have to be at least likable, preferably lovable and I have to get drawn into their world. Pucked ticked all my boxes. I needed a good laugh and this one definitely delivered. My son's, aged 12 and 9, kept asking me what was so funny? This is NOT one I could fudge and come up with an age-appropriate explanation...normally I give a slight variation of what's really going on. How do you make an age-appropriate explanation of why it's so funny that her mum walks into her room as she is "jilling" (who went up the hill with Jill...a thing guys like doing...an action that ends with off) herself? Ahhh...I got nothing. Pucked ended up being my own little giggle, snort party.
Violet lives in the pool house on her mum and stepdad's property. Her mum Skye, has a very bad habit of walking in whenever she feels like it. This drives Violet crazy but you can tell they have a very close relationship. Violet's stepdad is a hockey scout and stepbrother a professional hockey player. She's a little bit of a nerd and had a nasty end to a relationship with a hockey player. Both of those things and the fact that Buck (the stepbrother) is a manwhore, makes Violet weary of hockey players. Then she meets Alex and decides she might make a one-time exception for him.
Alex is the captain of the professional hockey team Buck plays for. He has a reputation that he refuses to agree or deny about to sports reporters. His manager Dick (very appropriate), thinks any reputation is a good reputation, but Alex is starting to get sick of it. When he meets Violet he is really attracted to her. She is funny and says the most inappropriate stuff. For Alex, it's a little bit of a shock when Violet doesn't jump at the chance to have a relationship with him. He must convince her that the reputation is not always earned. Challenge accepted.
Pucked is a very funny sports romance with a spunky heroine and a hero that isn't as confident as he lets everyone believe. There are a lot more ups than downs, and the sexy times were steamy with great humour as well. Alex does have a brain malfunction later on in the story, but it wasn't bad enough to reduce my like...lust...love for him.
If you're looking for a very lighthearted, funny romance that's a little silly and a lot goofy Pucked is perfect. I was thoroughly satisfied.
This is the kind of audio that I really look forward to. I've read the story, know what's going to happen and I'm prepared for every bump in the road to happiness. I can relax sit back and enjoy the journey without stressing about background noises or my attention drifting. It doesn't always happen, but if there's a lot going on around me, I can sometimes get distracted from the storyline. In Pucked, I was able to follow along well, get a bunch of laughs (embarassingly, on the train...again) and experience the connection of the main characters.
The narrators do a good job but admit to loving the female narrator a touch more. She is easy to listen to and jumps from a male to a female character with ease. The male narrator was ok but admit to being a little distracted from the storyline by his accent. I'm convinced he's Irish, or maybe originally born in Ireland. Lots of rolling with an almost melodic flow to his narration. It was all good, though.
I'm glad I got the chance to listen to Pucked and I'm keen to try a few more audios of this series.
No change in rating as I enjoyed the audio as much as the read.
**********
All the stars and planets aligned.
For me, a book has to cross A LOT of hurdles to be a five-star read. The cover must be appealing, both the hero and heroine have to be at least likable, preferably lovable and I have to get drawn into their world. Pucked ticked all my boxes. I needed a good laugh and this one definitely delivered. My son's, aged 12 and 9, kept asking me what was so funny? This is NOT one I could fudge and come up with an age-appropriate explanation...normally I give a slight variation of what's really going on. How do you make an age-appropriate explanation of why it's so funny that her mum walks into her room as she is "jilling" (who went up the hill with Jill...a thing guys like doing...an action that ends with off) herself? Ahhh...I got nothing. Pucked ended up being my own little giggle, snort party.
Violet lives in the pool house on her mum and stepdad's property. Her mum Skye, has a very bad habit of walking in whenever she feels like it. This drives Violet crazy but you can tell they have a very close relationship. Violet's stepdad is a hockey scout and stepbrother a professional hockey player. She's a little bit of a nerd and had a nasty end to a relationship with a hockey player. Both of those things and the fact that Buck (the stepbrother) is a manwhore, makes Violet weary of hockey players. Then she meets Alex and decides she might make a one-time exception for him.
Alex is the captain of the professional hockey team Buck plays for. He has a reputation that he refuses to agree or deny about to sports reporters. His manager Dick (very appropriate), thinks any reputation is a good reputation, but Alex is starting to get sick of it. When he meets Violet he is really attracted to her. She is funny and says the most inappropriate stuff. For Alex, it's a little bit of a shock when Violet doesn't jump at the chance to have a relationship with him. He must convince her that the reputation is not always earned. Challenge accepted.
Pucked is a very funny sports romance with a spunky heroine and a hero that isn't as confident as he lets everyone believe. There are a lot more ups than downs, and the sexy times were steamy with great humour as well. Alex does have a brain malfunction later on in the story, but it wasn't bad enough to reduce my like...lust...love for him.
If you're looking for a very lighthearted, funny romance that's a little silly and a lot goofy Pucked is perfect. I was thoroughly satisfied.
March 29, 2016
*****FIVE STARS*****
He’s such an enigma. I want these glimpses of sweetness and his awkward fumblings to be authentic, not a façade he wears to get women into bed with him.
I don’t know why I waited so long to read this series and what possessed me to read the books out of sequential order. Even though you really can read each book as a standalone (except for Forever Pucked), because every installment is about a different couple, but all of the characters show up in each subsequent story. I have loved every book that I have read so far! I would even dare to say that this is my top fave sports romance series!!
I thought that Randy Ballistic was something else until I got a good dose of Alex Waters and his ”SUPER MC”!! I am completely and utterly head over heels in love with him, and I’m even crushing on Violet. I haven’t met a more likable heroine in quite a while. Her inappropriate ramblings and klutziness made her so endearing. I laughed quite a bit while reading this and have learned a couple of terms that I won’t soon forget. (i.e. Jilling, and Area 51) You’ll have to read this book to find out what they refer to!!
Alex Waters is the Captain of the Chicago Hawks NHL team. Violet Hall is the stepsister of Buck Butterson who is a rookie player on the team. The two meet at one of the Hawks away games when Alex slams into the plexiglass barrier that Violet’s seated behind. Once their eyes lock on to each other, they each feel a white-hot attraction. Later after the game they run into each other at a celebratory party. One thing leads to another and Violet ends up in Alex’s hotel room. She isn’t the type of girl to have a meaningless one-night stand with a hockey player but she can’t seem to say no to Alex. Alex is also very smitten with Violet and he honestly tries to be a gentleman that night. But once the two have a serious make-out session on the couch Violet’s “Beaver” and Alex’s “Monster Cock” have a hard time staying away from each other. The steam in this book is OFF THE CHARTS SMOKIN HOT!!! Violet’s obsession with Alex’s monstrous cock is beyond hilarious. She even makes it a superhero costume!!
Alex’s notorious reputation for being a ladies’ man haunts him and implants serious insecurities and doubts into Violet’s mind. She has seen his pics on gossip sites and her worst fear is being thought of by him as just another puck bunny or hockey hooker. She decides to protect herself by avoiding Alex, but he pulls out all the stops to win over her heart, and boy did I ever swoon.
But will a stupid choice Alex makes to secure a corporate sponsor, threaten the relationship he and Violet are just starting to build???
The way that he feels for Violet and all the things he does to care for her just solidified Alex as being a member of my top ten favorite book boyfriends list. If you love romances with Hockey players as much as I do, you definitely need to pick this one up. There are some seriously swoon-worthy heroes in this series that are sure to melt your panties off!!
He’s such an enigma. I want these glimpses of sweetness and his awkward fumblings to be authentic, not a façade he wears to get women into bed with him.
I don’t know why I waited so long to read this series and what possessed me to read the books out of sequential order. Even though you really can read each book as a standalone (except for Forever Pucked), because every installment is about a different couple, but all of the characters show up in each subsequent story. I have loved every book that I have read so far! I would even dare to say that this is my top fave sports romance series!!
I thought that Randy Ballistic was something else until I got a good dose of Alex Waters and his ”SUPER MC”!! I am completely and utterly head over heels in love with him, and I’m even crushing on Violet. I haven’t met a more likable heroine in quite a while. Her inappropriate ramblings and klutziness made her so endearing. I laughed quite a bit while reading this and have learned a couple of terms that I won’t soon forget. (i.e. Jilling, and Area 51) You’ll have to read this book to find out what they refer to!!
Alex Waters is the Captain of the Chicago Hawks NHL team. Violet Hall is the stepsister of Buck Butterson who is a rookie player on the team. The two meet at one of the Hawks away games when Alex slams into the plexiglass barrier that Violet’s seated behind. Once their eyes lock on to each other, they each feel a white-hot attraction. Later after the game they run into each other at a celebratory party. One thing leads to another and Violet ends up in Alex’s hotel room. She isn’t the type of girl to have a meaningless one-night stand with a hockey player but she can’t seem to say no to Alex. Alex is also very smitten with Violet and he honestly tries to be a gentleman that night. But once the two have a serious make-out session on the couch Violet’s “Beaver” and Alex’s “Monster Cock” have a hard time staying away from each other. The steam in this book is OFF THE CHARTS SMOKIN HOT!!! Violet’s obsession with Alex’s monstrous cock is beyond hilarious. She even makes it a superhero costume!!
Alex’s notorious reputation for being a ladies’ man haunts him and implants serious insecurities and doubts into Violet’s mind. She has seen his pics on gossip sites and her worst fear is being thought of by him as just another puck bunny or hockey hooker. She decides to protect herself by avoiding Alex, but he pulls out all the stops to win over her heart, and boy did I ever swoon.
But will a stupid choice Alex makes to secure a corporate sponsor, threaten the relationship he and Violet are just starting to build???
The way that he feels for Violet and all the things he does to care for her just solidified Alex as being a member of my top ten favorite book boyfriends list. If you love romances with Hockey players as much as I do, you definitely need to pick this one up. There are some seriously swoon-worthy heroes in this series that are sure to melt your panties off!!
May 2, 2015
Pucked is a unique, deliciously hot, endearingly sweet, laugh out loud, good time romance! Already reread twice :))
January 3, 2018
4.5 stars
I've been wanting to read Pucked for a long time, and I'm so happy that I finally did! It was the perfect read for me right now! Sweet, silly, and steamy af!! I loved it! ❤
I've been wanting to read Pucked for a long time, and I'm so happy that I finally did! It was the perfect read for me right now! Sweet, silly, and steamy af!! I loved it! ❤
April 16, 2022
3.75-4 It Told You It Was In Your Face Stars
* * * * Spoiler Free
We all have friends and relatives we love to hang with...you know who I am talking about... They are the ones who come out with the craziest shit and just lay it out there for all to see. They have this way of doing and saying things you would NEVER, I MEAN, NEVER say... and do it so that it is natural and authentic to them. Sometimes it can get a little grating and over the top... but during the entire time you are with them... you know they are good people and just roll like that.
Now just because you love them and enjoy their company does not mean you want to hang with them all the time. They can be over the top or a bit too much. But overall you take it in stride and always are there should they need you.
Pucked was like that friend for me. From the first connection through the blurb... I knew this was not any shrinking violet book. I knew it was going to be balls to the wall in its banter, sexual talk and actions. It did not disappoint.
We have a couple of things happening; a very loose story premise. A family made of step-kids: 1 girl from the mom and 1 boy from the dad. They got together as a family when they were teens and basically got along ok. The driving force of the tale is hockey. The stepbrother, Buck plays professionally and the stepdad is part of the industry, too.
Buck is a strong player and unfortunately can't seem to keep his hands off the wrong women. Due to his last bathroom stall activity caught on cell phone video, he was traded to the Hawks. This is new territory for him and he now has to click with this winning team.
The family is tight-knit and cater to their kids. Violet, a recent graduate of the University of Illinois snagged an internship at her stepdad's company. She has the smarts and the position has her working with people who manage the NHL player's finances. At 22, she is a leg up in acquiring a career. She is still at her parent's house...well, pool house...and that is sometimes a huge problem as there is no privacy with her mom being into bombardier drop-ins without knocking.
It is during one of these walk-ins, Violet is manipulated into doing the family thing of supporting Buck at his first away game with the Hawks. Now understand... this is really not a hardship; there will be terrific accommodations, fantastic seats, and an after-party with the team. How bad can it be...
Well, considering Violet Hates all Hockey players and their man-slut ways... not fun.
She recently found out her boyfriend/now cheating ex was only into her because of who she was and her connections...remember... stepdad huge scout with NHL....which makes dating almost impossible because she never can figure out if they are into her or wanting to get close so they can get to the stepdad. And then there is the other factor attached to Hockey...
Hockey Players and Puck Bunnies...yes, those women who will attach themselves to players before, during if they could, and after games in order to do whatever... with whomever... however... whenever. I am sure you get my meaning...
It is at this away game Violet meets Alex. I should say it is where they first make visual contact through a quick but searing, penetrating look when Alex is thrown into the penalty box for a timeout during the game. They were drawn like two moths to a flame in that look...making Violet's lady bits remember what excitement was supposed to be.
Fast forward to meet and greet after the game...somehow these two connect again outside and a startling conversation happens between them stripping Violet of her usual walls...
You see Alex is not like all other Hockey players...into the game and that is it...no, Alex is smart, has a degree in English Lit and noticed Violet brought and read her Fielding book while at the game. Instead of berating her... he quotes Fielding and that was it...connection and surprise made. These two become oblivious that there are other people around and the next thing that is happening is kissing...but not just kissing, a special type of kissing...which I will go into more detail in a minute.
This kissing gets interrupted by Buck screaming at the both of them because just like Buck...Alex has a bit of a man-slut reputation too. Buck is threatening to beat Alex up and somehow it all settles down and people separate. Violet is still in a daze from the kissing and goes to her room which is part of the suite the parents got for the weekend.
Alex calls her...he is in the hallway wanting to see her. Without thinking, Violet in thrown together superhero PJ's steps are put into the hall and the door automatically closes. Now, what...she doesn't want to disturb parents...can't go down to the lobby in that getup... she goes and hangs out with Alex in his room for a while.
Alex is delicious; he is polite, careful, concerned, and always the gentleman...even when he is undressing her...
Yes, these two do exactly what Marvin Gay's most famous song sings about...Let's Get it On.....
So, here is the deal with this story...we have Violet and like that friend I referenced...she has no edit factor at all... she has this mouth and way of either talking about or describing things which is over the top insane but also very in your face funny. Alex loved it and he also can be equally so...
Examples:
They weren't kissing, he was mouth f*cking
She gets off by Jilling (guys call it Jacking)
She sees his member and immediately christens it Monster C@ck
Her female part has a Canadian flair for Alex- the Beaver
Now all of this is hysterical and makes the reading solid... but it almost borders on overdone...
The plot points are there but it is really all about Violet and Alex hooking up a lot.
So, did I enjoy the read...Mostly...I thought it was in your face original and had some truly terrific moments. It did have heart and conflict but sometimes I was a little confused by why Violet didn't see the reality of her situation and have some real conversations about handling what Alex was up against more...But that could be just me...
Whether you will really dig this book or not... I truly had fun with it and with the right attitude going in... I think you will, too.
Pucked (Pucked, #1)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Pucked Up (Pucked, #2)
Pucked Over (Pucked, #3)
Forever Pucked (Pucked, #4)
Pucked Off (Pucked, #5)
Pucked Love (Pucked, #6)
https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
~~~~~ Before Reading ~~~~~
He is described:
With the hockey stick in his pants....
Come on...How could I turn this down?
Cannot wait to meet the owner of said occupied pants, tee hee...
A gifted copy was provided by author/publisher for an honest review.
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
* * * * Spoiler Free
We all have friends and relatives we love to hang with...you know who I am talking about... They are the ones who come out with the craziest shit and just lay it out there for all to see. They have this way of doing and saying things you would NEVER, I MEAN, NEVER say... and do it so that it is natural and authentic to them. Sometimes it can get a little grating and over the top... but during the entire time you are with them... you know they are good people and just roll like that.
Now just because you love them and enjoy their company does not mean you want to hang with them all the time. They can be over the top or a bit too much. But overall you take it in stride and always are there should they need you.
Pucked was like that friend for me. From the first connection through the blurb... I knew this was not any shrinking violet book. I knew it was going to be balls to the wall in its banter, sexual talk and actions. It did not disappoint.
We have a couple of things happening; a very loose story premise. A family made of step-kids: 1 girl from the mom and 1 boy from the dad. They got together as a family when they were teens and basically got along ok. The driving force of the tale is hockey. The stepbrother, Buck plays professionally and the stepdad is part of the industry, too.
Buck is a strong player and unfortunately can't seem to keep his hands off the wrong women. Due to his last bathroom stall activity caught on cell phone video, he was traded to the Hawks. This is new territory for him and he now has to click with this winning team.
The family is tight-knit and cater to their kids. Violet, a recent graduate of the University of Illinois snagged an internship at her stepdad's company. She has the smarts and the position has her working with people who manage the NHL player's finances. At 22, she is a leg up in acquiring a career. She is still at her parent's house...well, pool house...and that is sometimes a huge problem as there is no privacy with her mom being into bombardier drop-ins without knocking.
It is during one of these walk-ins, Violet is manipulated into doing the family thing of supporting Buck at his first away game with the Hawks. Now understand... this is really not a hardship; there will be terrific accommodations, fantastic seats, and an after-party with the team. How bad can it be...
Well, considering Violet Hates all Hockey players and their man-slut ways... not fun.
She recently found out her boyfriend/now cheating ex was only into her because of who she was and her connections...remember... stepdad huge scout with NHL....which makes dating almost impossible because she never can figure out if they are into her or wanting to get close so they can get to the stepdad. And then there is the other factor attached to Hockey...
Hockey Players and Puck Bunnies...yes, those women who will attach themselves to players before, during if they could, and after games in order to do whatever... with whomever... however... whenever. I am sure you get my meaning...
It is at this away game Violet meets Alex. I should say it is where they first make visual contact through a quick but searing, penetrating look when Alex is thrown into the penalty box for a timeout during the game. They were drawn like two moths to a flame in that look...making Violet's lady bits remember what excitement was supposed to be.
Fast forward to meet and greet after the game...somehow these two connect again outside and a startling conversation happens between them stripping Violet of her usual walls...
You see Alex is not like all other Hockey players...into the game and that is it...no, Alex is smart, has a degree in English Lit and noticed Violet brought and read her Fielding book while at the game. Instead of berating her... he quotes Fielding and that was it...connection and surprise made. These two become oblivious that there are other people around and the next thing that is happening is kissing...but not just kissing, a special type of kissing...which I will go into more detail in a minute.
This kissing gets interrupted by Buck screaming at the both of them because just like Buck...Alex has a bit of a man-slut reputation too. Buck is threatening to beat Alex up and somehow it all settles down and people separate. Violet is still in a daze from the kissing and goes to her room which is part of the suite the parents got for the weekend.
Alex calls her...he is in the hallway wanting to see her. Without thinking, Violet in thrown together superhero PJ's steps are put into the hall and the door automatically closes. Now, what...she doesn't want to disturb parents...can't go down to the lobby in that getup... she goes and hangs out with Alex in his room for a while.
Alex is delicious; he is polite, careful, concerned, and always the gentleman...even when he is undressing her...
Yes, these two do exactly what Marvin Gay's most famous song sings about...Let's Get it On.....
So, here is the deal with this story...we have Violet and like that friend I referenced...she has no edit factor at all... she has this mouth and way of either talking about or describing things which is over the top insane but also very in your face funny. Alex loved it and he also can be equally so...
Examples:
They weren't kissing, he was mouth f*cking
She gets off by Jilling (guys call it Jacking)
She sees his member and immediately christens it Monster C@ck
Her female part has a Canadian flair for Alex- the Beaver
Now all of this is hysterical and makes the reading solid... but it almost borders on overdone...
The plot points are there but it is really all about Violet and Alex hooking up a lot.
So, did I enjoy the read...Mostly...I thought it was in your face original and had some truly terrific moments. It did have heart and conflict but sometimes I was a little confused by why Violet didn't see the reality of her situation and have some real conversations about handling what Alex was up against more...But that could be just me...
Whether you will really dig this book or not... I truly had fun with it and with the right attitude going in... I think you will, too.
Pucked (Pucked, #1)https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
Pucked Up (Pucked, #2) Pucked Over (Pucked, #3) Forever Pucked (Pucked, #4) Pucked Off (Pucked, #5) Pucked Love (Pucked, #6)https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
~~~~~ Before Reading ~~~~~
He is described:
With the hockey stick in his pants....
Come on...How could I turn this down?
Cannot wait to meet the owner of said occupied pants, tee hee...
A gifted copy was provided by author/publisher for an honest review.
For more Reviews, Free E-books and Giveaways
April 26, 2022
First of all the writing was not for me. The comparison to kissing to food was too cringey for me and I didn’t like the love interest.
There were also some questionable jokes made by violet in correlation to transgender people and I didn’t like that at all.
The focus on her boobs wow no. It literally seemed like it was written by a man and the slut shaming wasn’t for me.
What topped it off was the beaver.
There were also some questionable jokes made by violet in correlation to transgender people and I didn’t like that at all.
The focus on her boobs wow no. It literally seemed like it was written by a man and the slut shaming wasn’t for me.
What topped it off was the beaver.
July 1, 2021
Hot and Hilarious!
The following ratings are out of 5:
Audio/Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 💚💙💜🖤❤️
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📘📗📕📙📘
World building: 🌏🌏🌍🌏🌍
Character development: ☺️🤓🥸😎🥳
The Hero(s): Alex Waters - NHL team captain and hot as sin. He has a reputation as a hockey whore but he doesn’t deserve the rep. He would’ve in his rookie years, but lately he was sick of that scene and the puck bunnies.
The heroine(s): Violet Hall - Violet doesn’t like Hockey players but her step brother, Buck is a good player in the NHL and is on the team where Alex is the captain. She works for a PR firm and is an avid reader.
The Love Story: Alex and Violet have a one night stand when they meet after a hockey game. Alex is intrigued by Violet and wants to see her more, but the fact that her stepbrother is a teammate is a problem.
I really loved the narration on this one. Violet has a hilarious sense of humor and the narration did that sense of humor justice like nobody’s business. I can’t remember hearing of a woman’s body part being referred to as a beaver so many times, and in so many funny ways. She also refers to his Monster member as MC.
This is a great sports romantic comedy with a good story and it is quite steamy as well. It has all the right stuff. I loved the supporting characters as well. I can’t wait to read more from this series.
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The following ratings are out of 5:
Audio/Narration: 🎧🎧🎧🎧🎧
Romance: 💚💙💜🖤❤️
Heat/Steam: 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Story/Plot: 📘📗📕📙📘
World building: 🌏🌏🌍🌏🌍
Character development: ☺️🤓🥸😎🥳
The Hero(s): Alex Waters - NHL team captain and hot as sin. He has a reputation as a hockey whore but he doesn’t deserve the rep. He would’ve in his rookie years, but lately he was sick of that scene and the puck bunnies.
The heroine(s): Violet Hall - Violet doesn’t like Hockey players but her step brother, Buck is a good player in the NHL and is on the team where Alex is the captain. She works for a PR firm and is an avid reader.
The Love Story: Alex and Violet have a one night stand when they meet after a hockey game. Alex is intrigued by Violet and wants to see her more, but the fact that her stepbrother is a teammate is a problem.
I really loved the narration on this one. Violet has a hilarious sense of humor and the narration did that sense of humor justice like nobody’s business. I can’t remember hearing of a woman’s body part being referred to as a beaver so many times, and in so many funny ways. She also refers to his Monster member as MC.
This is a great sports romantic comedy with a good story and it is quite steamy as well. It has all the right stuff. I loved the supporting characters as well. I can’t wait to read more from this series.
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July 3, 2015
3.5ish Stars
Overall I liked this little ditty but I'm skipping the in-depth review because what annoyed the ever loving crap out of me probably won't bother most folks.
Basically it all comes down to 81 mentions of the word "beaver" or a close incarnation. Oh, and 53 mentions of "monster cock" or "MC" for short. That's a whole lot of repetition for a book that doles out a meager amount of character development and awkwardly mumbles over the big time conflict of the story. I will give serious kudos to some righteous strip scrabble action because that did manage to make things better for awhile.
I liked this but never really felt it. Still this is a cute, sexy take on some NHL action and it was most definitely worth the time
Overall I liked this little ditty but I'm skipping the in-depth review because what annoyed the ever loving crap out of me probably won't bother most folks.
Basically it all comes down to 81 mentions of the word "beaver" or a close incarnation. Oh, and 53 mentions of "monster cock" or "MC" for short. That's a whole lot of repetition for a book that doles out a meager amount of character development and awkwardly mumbles over the big time conflict of the story. I will give serious kudos to some righteous strip scrabble action because that did manage to make things better for awhile.
I liked this but never really felt it. Still this is a cute, sexy take on some NHL action and it was most definitely worth the time
October 16, 2016
"I'm so pucked. There'd better be a support group for hockey hookers. I'm going to need it after tonight."
After reading Pucked, I realize that the title could not be more indicative of how I feel about this series. I am truly Pucked! And it feels good! Helena Hunting's text is loaded with humor and wit, colorful characters, sports action, and smoking hot sex! When you are looking for the sweetest kind of escape, what more could you be looking for?
"As the lone female among the throng of giant males, I stick out like a pair of boobs in a sea of dicks."Violet Hall is a quirky young woman who likes to live her life to the fullest. With a stepbrother and stepfather in the NHL Hockey business, Violet is no stranger to the life and all of its glitz, more glam, and the flash of the media. When her mom and stepdad convince her to join them on a quick trip to a hockey game to support Chicago's winning team, she packs a bag and off they go. After a fast game and some post-game celebration, Violet meets the captain of the team Alex Waters! Although her protective stepbrother Buck isn't happy with the meeting, she has no problems spending one night with the hot hockey star. Although Violet isn't a one-night stand type of girl, the time is well spent between the sheets!
"I can't wait to have my mouth on you again. I'm gonna eat you like I'm on death row and you're my last goddamned meal."
"He's like the Energizer Bunny on crack with an amazing dick."Alex Waters could not be more shocked by his attraction to Violet. He knows it is a bad idea to get involved with a team-mates sister and frankly he isn't the relationship type man. Or is he? As Violet and Alex get to know each other, they realize that their compatibility factor is off the charts. Is Alex truly ready to shirk off his playboy persona and embrace Violet as his one and only?
"She's not a hooker; she's my girlfriend!"
"Sign me up for Alex Waters Anonymous. I officially have a problem!"Told in dual POV, Pucked is outrageously laugh out loud funny. I cannot tell you how many times I laughed so hard I cried! Violet is one of those characters you cannot help but love. She is so vulnerable and open with everyone and when she opens her mouth you never know what is going to come out of her mouth! Alex is a perfect hero for Violet. He is more polished and paired together they are a perfect match! The plot is simple and yet the characters and their colorful idiosyncrasies make this a complex ball of fun. The physical connection between Alex and Violet was off the charts. I thoroughly enjoyed the way Ms. Hutning so craftily transformed a humorous hockey romp into a sincere and tender romance. The secondary characters are critical to the story arc and make a clear path for more pucked goodness to come!
Overall, I simply cannot say enough about how much I enjoyed this read. Alex and Violet are quite entertaining and I am dying for more PUCKED goodness! The blend of hockey, smoking hot sex, and colorful characters are sure to keep me coming back for more.
***Pucked Series***
*Read as part of the IndieSTAR chat with Hunting, Riley, Aaron, & Howell: Oct. 2-8, 2016 on Shh...!
https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
For more reviews/reveals/giveaways visit:
May 9, 2015
3,5 Steamy Stars
One wild night changes the lives of Violet and Alex. Used to be a single girl by now, Violet doesn’t know what to do when mawhore anti-commitment Alex decided to chase her after their one night-stand. However, she has a rule of not get involved with playboys. However, Alex is persistent and starts to wear her off. But the life of a hockey player isn’t easy, there’s pressure, fame and everything that comes with it. Can Alex show Violet how good they could be together?
Despite this had been a great reading, some things didn’t completely work for me. First the characters (see below), and second some of the drama scenes didn’t made much sense for me. Especially last one and the “twist”, I didn’t understand its purpose.
Other than those details, I liked it a lot and well, I always like hockey themed books so that was a plus for me.
If you’re looking for a funny and steamy reading, with heartwarming moments a sexy
Hockey player, this is the book for you.
It’s sexy, well written and very engaging. Give a try.
Rating: 3,5 Stars.
Characters Development: Violet was sassy and funny In the beginning, but soon those traits started to wear off and without anything else to stand for she just became annoying. Alex was pretty good and I loved how he evolved through the story… and despite some lame attitudes that put me a little off, I liked him. The supportive characters were nice, definitely a series to go on.
Steam: Hot.
Sensible Subjects:
Love Triangle:
Cheating:
HEA:
One wild night changes the lives of Violet and Alex. Used to be a single girl by now, Violet doesn’t know what to do when mawhore anti-commitment Alex decided to chase her after their one night-stand. However, she has a rule of not get involved with playboys. However, Alex is persistent and starts to wear her off. But the life of a hockey player isn’t easy, there’s pressure, fame and everything that comes with it. Can Alex show Violet how good they could be together?
Despite this had been a great reading, some things didn’t completely work for me. First the characters (see below), and second some of the drama scenes didn’t made much sense for me. Especially last one and the “twist”, I didn’t understand its purpose.
Other than those details, I liked it a lot and well, I always like hockey themed books so that was a plus for me.
If you’re looking for a funny and steamy reading, with heartwarming moments a sexy
Hockey player, this is the book for you.
It’s sexy, well written and very engaging. Give a try.
Rating: 3,5 Stars.
Characters Development: Violet was sassy and funny In the beginning, but soon those traits started to wear off and without anything else to stand for she just became annoying. Alex was pretty good and I loved how he evolved through the story… and despite some lame attitudes that put me a little off, I liked him. The supportive characters were nice, definitely a series to go on.
Steam: Hot.
Sensible Subjects:
Love Triangle:
Cheating:
HEA:
May 8, 2023
This was a hilarious sports-themed romantic comedy that I completely enjoyed. Violet was such a funny narrator as the sister of hockey player, and stepdaughter of a hockey scout, and someone who after a bad experience, has sworn off hockey guys forever. Then she meets Alex Waters and they have instant chemistry. Lots of steamy times in this book, and the author has a hilarious writing voice.
May 31, 2020
Violet knows hockey players' bad reputation, that is why she doesn't really want the attention of the team captain, Alex Waters.
Despite his stunning face and hot muscled body... except for a one night stand. 💥😝
Alex on the other hand, wants a lot more than just a fling with the big mouthed girl, so he does whatever it takes to prove her that he might be a hockey player, but he is not a "player".
Even though he is really good with the hockey stick he has in his pants! 😂
📚 “𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐬. 𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐭 𝐮𝐩 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨.” 📚
So... this book was fun and hot! a bit silly sometimes, but defiantly funny. 😂🎉
I liked that I didn't feel exhausted by the all the hockey descriptions and I loved Violet's character - she made me laugh my ass off!!!! (just wait for the cape scene, GOD! 😂) and Alex totally made me swoon! ❤
However, there were parts I felt that the author tried forcefully to make me laugh - like, all the "Super MC" and "Beaver" jokes, that at some point started to wear out. 😬
📚 “𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐡, 𝐈’𝐦 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐧.”
“𝐃𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐝𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐩𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬? 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐬?” 📚
I really enjoyed this book, but this is a light comedy - which means that the story-line and characters are not that deep and the book has no life lessons in it - so if you're looking for something like that, this is not it... But if you want to spend a few hours of liberating laughs with fun characters and playful plot - this is THE book for you!!! 💥❤
▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️
📖 ᖴOᒪᒪOᗯ ᗰE Oᑎ IᑎᔕTᗩGᖇᗩᗰ: 🎉 https://www.instagram.com/the_romanti...
📖 ᐯIᔕIT ᗰY ᗷᒪOG ᖴOᖇ ᗰOᖇE ᖇEᐯIEᗯᔕ: https://books-romance.com/
📖 GOOᗪᖇEᗩᗪᔕ: https://bit.ly/3acMRMP
💕 לקריאת הסקירה בעברית, כנסו לבלוג: https://books-romance.com/ 💕
October 22, 2017
I'm super duper late to this party, but I'm going to binge read this series and catch up. Therefore, look forward to lots of rambling reviews. LOL
I’ll try my best not to belabor the reviews, but I already know I’m going to love the books so much. This one was exactly what I needed at the moment. Funny, sexy, and sweet.
Here's the breakdown: Super sexy hockey player connects immediately with his teammate’s sister. They try to hide the relationship, but get outed in the most spectacular way. OMG, that scene was too cute! He’s a known manwhore and she’s dead set against dating another athlete. Will their relationship last or cause unintentional strain on the entire team dynamic?
Here’s what I loved: I loved both characters, but uncharacteristically, I really loved Violet. I love women who know what they want and go after it with gusto, regardless of the potential backlash. She’s secure in her sexuality and doesn’t apologize for being a sexual creature. That’s really refreshing. I also loved Alex and his snuffy! LOL Man, I thought I’d die when she named his appendage. Hahahaha. That was priceless.
The storyline was engaging. The story never lagged and entertained.
Overall, this is a WIN! If funny, sexy, and sweet are your jam, this one is for you! It's a fantastic read if you're in the mood for a hilarious romantic comedy. Recommended!
I’ll try my best not to belabor the reviews, but I already know I’m going to love the books so much. This one was exactly what I needed at the moment. Funny, sexy, and sweet.
Here's the breakdown: Super sexy hockey player connects immediately with his teammate’s sister. They try to hide the relationship, but get outed in the most spectacular way. OMG, that scene was too cute! He’s a known manwhore and she’s dead set against dating another athlete. Will their relationship last or cause unintentional strain on the entire team dynamic?
Here’s what I loved: I loved both characters, but uncharacteristically, I really loved Violet. I love women who know what they want and go after it with gusto, regardless of the potential backlash. She’s secure in her sexuality and doesn’t apologize for being a sexual creature. That’s really refreshing. I also loved Alex and his snuffy! LOL Man, I thought I’d die when she named his appendage. Hahahaha. That was priceless.
The storyline was engaging. The story never lagged and entertained.
Overall, this is a WIN! If funny, sexy, and sweet are your jam, this one is for you! It's a fantastic read if you're in the mood for a hilarious romantic comedy. Recommended!
October 16, 2019
66 mentions of the term "Beaver"
12 mentions of the annoying Beaver nickname "Beave"
44 mentions of the term "Monster Cock"
15 mentions of the annoying Monster Cock nickname "MC"
100% over the childish & immature heroine and the weak & mild hero
I had high hopes for this one because I love hockey and the blurb sounded good.
Instead, I was just left feeling really disappointed.
12 mentions of the annoying Beaver nickname "Beave"
44 mentions of the term "Monster Cock"
15 mentions of the annoying Monster Cock nickname "MC"
100% over the childish & immature heroine and the weak & mild hero
I had high hopes for this one because I love hockey and the blurb sounded good.
Instead, I was just left feeling really disappointed.
October 22, 2021
2 Immature stars
Spoilers
This was my first book by Helena Hunting and I wasn't really impressed. I could tell that Helena Hunting was tryin to make the book funny. It came off forced and not funny at all. I think she wanted Violet to come off quirky-cute, funny, and a bit awkward, but instead she came off really immature and obnoxious. Violet came off fake, like that kid in high school that tried really hard to be popular, but never made it. I didn't like that she was lying to her step brother, and using it as blackmail material. He was drunk so she told him he tried to sleep with her/ or feel her up when he didn't. Also she "fake smokes" what is she 13? I didn't care for Alex either. Although I'm having a harder time pinpointing what rubbed me the wrong way with him. I know that I didn't find his anger sexy and I didn't find him alpha at all. I also thought he sounded like the 6th graders from south park every time he said boobs. What grown ass man says boobs? Alex said it a lot.
Speaking of annoying immature words like boobs, this book was overflowing with irritating repetitive words that drove me up the wall. Jilling, Monster Cock, super MC(for monster cock), Beaver, Beave, snuffie, yeti, punk bunnies, Hockey hookers and all the other forms of slut shaming words used in this book. Top that shit off with a superficial plot, very little character development, no attachment to the main couple, and a ton of boob nuzzling and this book was a total miss for me. I may try another one of Helena Hunting books down the line since this was the first and only book of hers I've read just to give her a second chance but it will have to be down the road when I don't remember how annoying this book was.
Spoilers
This was my first book by Helena Hunting and I wasn't really impressed. I could tell that Helena Hunting was tryin to make the book funny. It came off forced and not funny at all. I think she wanted Violet to come off quirky-cute, funny, and a bit awkward, but instead she came off really immature and obnoxious. Violet came off fake, like that kid in high school that tried really hard to be popular, but never made it. I didn't like that she was lying to her step brother, and using it as blackmail material. He was drunk so she told him he tried to sleep with her/ or feel her up when he didn't. Also she "fake smokes" what is she 13? I didn't care for Alex either. Although I'm having a harder time pinpointing what rubbed me the wrong way with him. I know that I didn't find his anger sexy and I didn't find him alpha at all. I also thought he sounded like the 6th graders from south park every time he said boobs. What grown ass man says boobs? Alex said it a lot.
Speaking of annoying immature words like boobs, this book was overflowing with irritating repetitive words that drove me up the wall. Jilling, Monster Cock, super MC(for monster cock), Beaver, Beave, snuffie, yeti, punk bunnies, Hockey hookers and all the other forms of slut shaming words used in this book. Top that shit off with a superficial plot, very little character development, no attachment to the main couple, and a ton of boob nuzzling and this book was a total miss for me. I may try another one of Helena Hunting books down the line since this was the first and only book of hers I've read just to give her a second chance but it will have to be down the road when I don't remember how annoying this book was.
March 3, 2018
Was I supposed to like this book...?
I'm sorry but this was an absolute, boring, empty-chemistry mess.
No redeeming quality whatsoever.
Hope the next one is better...
I'm sorry but this was an absolute, boring, empty-chemistry mess.
No redeeming quality whatsoever.
Hope the next one is better...
May 22, 2015
Do you fancy hot nerdy ice-hockey player? Hilarious heroine with no brain-to-mouth filter? Crazy inappropriate mothers, LOL moments and banters? This novel has it all.
Pucked is without the doubt the most entertaining adult contemporary story I have had a pleasure of reading. It is pointless to retell the storyline, you have to experience it yourself to understand its charm. However, I have a little warning for some of you – prepare yourself for plenty of sexy times. But contrary to other adult books, they are never boring, repetitive or taken too seriously in this novel. Aim of this story is to entertain, and entertain it did.
Would I recommend this novel? Humor is relative. What I find funny, you do not have to. But for me, Pucked will forever be my top favorite funny book ever written. So answer is yes, I do recommend this novel. Especially if you are looking for crazily good entertainment!
*ARC provided by author as an exchange for honest review*
MORE REVIEWS ON MY BLOG Reading Is My Breathing
Pucked is without the doubt the most entertaining adult contemporary story I have had a pleasure of reading. It is pointless to retell the storyline, you have to experience it yourself to understand its charm. However, I have a little warning for some of you – prepare yourself for plenty of sexy times. But contrary to other adult books, they are never boring, repetitive or taken too seriously in this novel. Aim of this story is to entertain, and entertain it did.
Would I recommend this novel? Humor is relative. What I find funny, you do not have to. But for me, Pucked will forever be my top favorite funny book ever written. So answer is yes, I do recommend this novel. Especially if you are looking for crazily good entertainment!
*ARC provided by author as an exchange for honest review*
MORE REVIEWS ON MY BLOG Reading Is My Breathing
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July 2, 2021
R A T I N G: 4 stars to Pucked! ★ ★ ★ ★
“He saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”
Oh God. He’s quoting Tolstoy and touching me. I’m done for.’
“Uh-oh,” Violet whispers, burying her face in my neck. “I think we’re pucked.”
You know you’re reading an erotic romance when the opening scene begins with what the author coins a ‘jill off’ (which might be my new favourite term). Did I mind? Not one bit. Why? Because, folks…I really enjoy erotic romance *grin*
22-year-old Sports Management Accountant Violet Hall is looking for a bit more freedom than living in her parents’ poolhouse with her mother’s incredibly intrusive dedication to trespassing driving her to a one-way mind of looking for an escape route.
Though Violet is indirectly integrated in the sphere of sport, she certainly has no interest in hockey or its rather gluttonous, predatory players. If her stepbrother Buck is any example to go by, polygamous bed hopping would surely become a serial sport to rival any sport. Unfortunate for her that she’s made to attend an away game for Buck’s first game with The Hawks after his latest scandal.
After getting caught up in the game Violet re-examines her relatively established philosophy that all hockey players are mindless simpletons when The Hawks’ team Captain, Alex Waters, has her re-thinking her stance. A hothead on the ice and hot phenomenon who scores just as well between the sheets paints Alex as one of hockey’s ladykillers, and if that’s not enough to convince Violet to take caution, then his playboy media persona certainly is.
When Violet finds pictures of herself and Alex through online media, she doesn’t want to be heralded as just another ‘puck bunny’ conquest, questioning whether Alex’s obvious sincerity falls on the side of make-believe or stone cold truth. Is he the endearing, affectionate, slightly awkward charmer who quotes Tolstoy or the evasive media player playing her for a fool.
Being a sensitive reader means I can easily submerge myself in most any story and tether myself to the world, especially and most importantly for me, a story’s characters. It also means I can empathise with them, rejoice their wins and hail a chant to the heavens for their losses, and of course I’ll feel the full spectrum of feelings both intentional and expected, not limited to disappearing into a puddle of tears or accepting fits of tummy-bubbling laughter. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it also means that I can get close to the subject matter enough to be speculative and inquisitive about a story’s narrative to decide what worked for me and what didn’t…and Pucked dear friends, wasn’t any different. Helena Hunting's first-in-series fit me like a glove.
After combing through reviews for it quickly became clear that this book is definitely among debate - some readers love it and some readers really don’t. Whether it’s agreeable or not, I REALLY enjoyed it and because of that it ended up being quite the page turner! There isn’t much of a plot to be pieced together here so I wouldn’t expect something largely intricate or in-depth. I was looking for something light, sexy, smutty and fun and got that in spades.
As well as the story, the relationship between Alex and Violet isn’t as progressive as it had the potential to be so we are missing out in some respects, but the characters, the comical strength and Violet's eccentric quirk and endearing oddness placed this in winning class. And Alex? He was gorgeous hybrid of naughty and nice.
This book does pack an appreciable punch though, because it’s loaded with drama, embarrassment, awkward situations, ridiculousness and that slapstick edge that made this a page-turner. I loved the titled chapters and I loved the epilogue even more - a fitting way to end the story With Violet’s signature crazy and homage to the star of the show, our main couture encased appendage. With our reads, satisfaction and our ability to enjoy a book condenses down to our motivations for reading in the first place. The read itself aligned with my motivation here, so I was sunning myself greedily in my happy space.
You’ll find a generous amount of erotic content with Pucked so I warn caution to be your best friend and companion. Pucked is a sports-themed romance designed and written with the value of pure entertainment and romantic warmth. The writer has a voice fit for smutty humour. Enjoy, if this is your choice forte! Situations of undress may or may not be limited to locker rooms, air hockey tables, games of scrabble with frequent mention to superhero MC’s and insatiable beavers that speak in ode of our vital appendages. Pucked is a victorious rom-com and the author's voice shines with mirth.
‘I want to want him with this kind of insatiable need forever. But passion fades eventually, and the warm, soft balm of love is what keeps the fire burning.’
Trigger Warning: A LOT of erotic content dear readers so take caution! Sexy talk, multiple sex scenes, LOTS of rampant sexual references and some swearing.
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Visit my blog for more reviews: V.L. Book Reviews
T W I T T E R: @VicariousHearts
I N S T A G R A M: @Vicarious.Hearts
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“He saw her, like the sun, even without looking.”
Oh God. He’s quoting Tolstoy and touching me. I’m done for.’
“Uh-oh,” Violet whispers, burying her face in my neck. “I think we’re pucked.”
You know you’re reading an erotic romance when the opening scene begins with what the author coins a ‘jill off’ (which might be my new favourite term). Did I mind? Not one bit. Why? Because, folks…I really enjoy erotic romance *grin*
22-year-old Sports Management Accountant Violet Hall is looking for a bit more freedom than living in her parents’ poolhouse with her mother’s incredibly intrusive dedication to trespassing driving her to a one-way mind of looking for an escape route.
Though Violet is indirectly integrated in the sphere of sport, she certainly has no interest in hockey or its rather gluttonous, predatory players. If her stepbrother Buck is any example to go by, polygamous bed hopping would surely become a serial sport to rival any sport. Unfortunate for her that she’s made to attend an away game for Buck’s first game with The Hawks after his latest scandal.
After getting caught up in the game Violet re-examines her relatively established philosophy that all hockey players are mindless simpletons when The Hawks’ team Captain, Alex Waters, has her re-thinking her stance. A hothead on the ice and hot phenomenon who scores just as well between the sheets paints Alex as one of hockey’s ladykillers, and if that’s not enough to convince Violet to take caution, then his playboy media persona certainly is.
When Violet finds pictures of herself and Alex through online media, she doesn’t want to be heralded as just another ‘puck bunny’ conquest, questioning whether Alex’s obvious sincerity falls on the side of make-believe or stone cold truth. Is he the endearing, affectionate, slightly awkward charmer who quotes Tolstoy or the evasive media player playing her for a fool.
Being a sensitive reader means I can easily submerge myself in most any story and tether myself to the world, especially and most importantly for me, a story’s characters. It also means I can empathise with them, rejoice their wins and hail a chant to the heavens for their losses, and of course I’ll feel the full spectrum of feelings both intentional and expected, not limited to disappearing into a puddle of tears or accepting fits of tummy-bubbling laughter. I wouldn’t have it any other way, but it also means that I can get close to the subject matter enough to be speculative and inquisitive about a story’s narrative to decide what worked for me and what didn’t…and Pucked dear friends, wasn’t any different. Helena Hunting's first-in-series fit me like a glove.
After combing through reviews for it quickly became clear that this book is definitely among debate - some readers love it and some readers really don’t. Whether it’s agreeable or not, I REALLY enjoyed it and because of that it ended up being quite the page turner! There isn’t much of a plot to be pieced together here so I wouldn’t expect something largely intricate or in-depth. I was looking for something light, sexy, smutty and fun and got that in spades.
As well as the story, the relationship between Alex and Violet isn’t as progressive as it had the potential to be so we are missing out in some respects, but the characters, the comical strength and Violet's eccentric quirk and endearing oddness placed this in winning class. And Alex? He was gorgeous hybrid of naughty and nice.
This book does pack an appreciable punch though, because it’s loaded with drama, embarrassment, awkward situations, ridiculousness and that slapstick edge that made this a page-turner. I loved the titled chapters and I loved the epilogue even more - a fitting way to end the story With Violet’s signature crazy and homage to the star of the show, our main couture encased appendage. With our reads, satisfaction and our ability to enjoy a book condenses down to our motivations for reading in the first place. The read itself aligned with my motivation here, so I was sunning myself greedily in my happy space.
You’ll find a generous amount of erotic content with Pucked so I warn caution to be your best friend and companion. Pucked is a sports-themed romance designed and written with the value of pure entertainment and romantic warmth. The writer has a voice fit for smutty humour. Enjoy, if this is your choice forte! Situations of undress may or may not be limited to locker rooms, air hockey tables, games of scrabble with frequent mention to superhero MC’s and insatiable beavers that speak in ode of our vital appendages. Pucked is a victorious rom-com and the author's voice shines with mirth.
‘I want to want him with this kind of insatiable need forever. But passion fades eventually, and the warm, soft balm of love is what keeps the fire burning.’
Trigger Warning: A LOT of erotic content dear readers so take caution! Sexy talk, multiple sex scenes, LOTS of rampant sexual references and some swearing.
------------------------------------------
Visit my blog for more reviews: V.L. Book Reviews
T W I T T E R: @VicariousHearts
I N S T A G R A M: @Vicarious.Hearts
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