The Next Best Book Club discussion

You know the thing where you read your fortune cookie and end it with 'in bed'? I was wondering how funny it would be to do that with famous quotes, or book excerpts, and it is, indeed, funny...........

Dr. Seuss: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened in bed.

Maya Angelou: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away in bed.

Bill Gates: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one in bed.

A.A. Milne: 'We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?' asked Piglet.
'Even longer,' Pooh answered, 'In bed.'

Anyone else have any?

Ha.. I like this!

Set your goals high, and don't stop till you get there in bed. - Bo Jackson

What you get free costs too much in bed. - Jean Anouilh

Bad weather always looks worse through a window in bed. - Tom Lehrer

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment in bed. - Budda

Get mad, then get over it in bed. - Colin Powell

Marco... woah woah... Please edit your posts to show everything in one post.....

Ahhhh.. thank you! Im slightly OCD with the threads if you havent noticed yet :) I really appreciate it!

I like that last one btw!!

"Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results in bed" Albert Einstein

((TeeHee))

I know two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and i dont know about the universe in bed.
Albert einstien and bed

"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough in bed"
— Mae West

"Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before in bed."
— Mae West

"Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand in bed."
— Mae West

"When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better in bed. "
— Mae West

"Too much of a good thing can be wonderful in bed! "
— Mae West

"Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided in bed."
— Mae West

"If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right in bed!"
— Mae West

Amazing how most of her quotes still make perfect sense even after you add in bed!!!

These are just three from Jodi Picoult books...so serious, however when you add the catch phrase at the end, it's just plain hilarious!!

"You dont love someone because they're perfect, you love them in spite of the fact that they're not...in bed!"
— Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)


"If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did you spend the rest of forever with a hole inside you that couldn't be filled...in bed?"
— Jodi Picoult (Nineteen Minutes)

"Maybe who we are isn't so much about what we do, but rather what we're capable of when we least expect it...in bed."
— Jodi Picoult (My Sister's Keeper)

A word to the wise ain't necessary, it's the stupid ones who need the advice...in bed.
Bill Cosby

"I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches"...in bed.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

A little Ralph Waldo Emerson:

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else... in bed.

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you... in bed.

To be great is to be misunderstood... in bed.

Make yourself necessary to somebody... in bed.

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them... in bed.

You got mad in your own time You can get glad in your own time in bed-My grandmother Ethyl Bowling

Okay these ended up a little bit naughty XD

It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities in bed
-- JK Rowling, HP and the Chamber of Secrets

There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure in bed
— Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

There had been times when he knew, somewhere in him, that he would get used to it, whatever it was, because he had learnt that some hard things became softer after a very little while in bed (I'm VERY well aware of the innuendo here...)
— Nick Hornby, About a Boy

There are no safe choices in bed
-- Libba Bray (a great and terrible beauty)

Leila wrote: "Okay these ended up a little bit naughty XD

It is our choices, Harry, that show us who we truly are, far more than our abilities in bed
-- JK Rowling, HP and the Chamber of Secrets

There is only ..."

Those wer egood ones.

"All my life I've thought I needed someone to complete me, now I know I need to belong to myself.. in bed"

"The whole problem with people is--The problem is they KNOW what matters, but they don't CHOOSE it...The hardest thing on earth is choosing what matters.. IN BED"
-The Secret Life of Bees :P

"You see things; and you say 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say 'Why not... in bed?'"
— George Bernard Shaw

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle... in bed."
— Albert Einstein

He looked like he could have snapped the chains that held him as easily as you might snap the ribbons on a Christmas present, but when you looked in his face, you knew he wasn't going to do anything like that in bed.
--The Green Mile by Stephen King
in bed and only in bed, so watch out during all other moments

You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you never had the courage to commit in bed.
--The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

"You said I killed you - haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers, I believe. I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you in bed!"
--Heathcliff, Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë
what Heathcliff was really after

"It is vain to say that human beings ought to be satisfied with tranquility: they must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it in bed."
Charlotte Bronte

"Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and
continue on as though nothing has happened in bed."
— Winston Churchill


"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read in bed."
— Groucho Marx

That which we call a rose is sweet in bed... by William Shakespeare

Ask not what your country can do for you but what you can do for your country in bed. JFK to Mariln Monroe.

Better than: Ich bin ein Berliner (actually a jelly-filled donut) in bed.

Friendship is constant in all other things save in the office and affairs of love in bed. Spoken by Claudio. Written by William Shakespeare. Play:Much Ado About Nothing

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood... in bed. -George S. Patton

Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack... in bed. - George S. Patton

(I believe Patton may be on to something. *lol*)

How now you secret black and midnight hags! What is't, you do in bed? Quoted by Macbeth in Act 1 Scene 1 of MacBeth, by William Shakespeare

Clearly I am a fan of the great William Shakespeare!!! :-)

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one in bed"
— C.S. Lewis

"Conscience doth make cowards of us all... in bed"
— William Shakespeare (Hamlet)

"Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent... in bed"
-- Isaac Asimov (Foundation)

"Good music always defeats bad luck... in bed"
-- Jack Vance (Lyonesse)

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new... in bed"
-- Albert Einstein

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work... in bed"
-- Thomas A. Edison

To be or not to be, that is the question-in bed.
Will Shakespeare

Next person who posts must guess which play this is from.

P.S. This should be EASY!!!!!!!!

^^i aint posting next then

Hamlet.

It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything... in bed.

- Chuck Palahniuk

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times... in bed. A Tale of Two Cities

There she blows! A hump like a snow-hill... in bed!Moby-Dick

Scale of dragon, tooth of wolf, witches mummy, maw and gulf of the ravened salt sea shark...make the gruel thick and slab, add thereto a tiger's chaudron, for the ingredients of our cauldron...in bed.

Next person who posts must guess which play this is from.

P.S. This should be EASY!!!!!!!!

Macbeth

"I believe that I often bring out the best in somebody's talents."...in bed ~ David Bowie

"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends ..in bed"
Woody Allen, "The Complete Prose of Woody Allen"

"I think one of the reasons I'm popular again is because I'm wearing a tie. You have to be different."...in bed. ~ Tony Bennett

Do movie and/or song "quotes" count?

No, that's for myspace.

"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on... in bed"
— Robert Frost

"She is spherical, like a globe. I could find out countries in her...in bed"

"Can you imagine Simon as a kid? His imaginary friends probably never wanted to play with him."...in bed. ~ Paula Abdul

"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference... in bed."

As sure as I have a thought, or soul in bed.

"Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us in bed" - Bill Watterson.