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Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down
The Emory University sociologist who coined the term languishing—low-grade mental weariness that affects our self-esteem, relationships, and motivation—explores the rise of this phenomenon and presents a comprehensive guide to flourishing in a world that demands too much.
If you’re muddling through the day in a fog, often forgetting why you walked into a room . . .
If you feel emotionally flattened, lacking the energy to socialize or feel joy in the small things . . .
If you feel an inner void—like something is missing, but you aren’t sure what . . .
Then this book is for you.
Languishing—the state of mental weariness that erodes our self-esteem, motivation, and sense of meaning—can be easy to brush off as the new normal, especially since indifference is one of its symptoms. It’s not a synonym for depression and its attendant state of prolonged sadness. Languishers are more likely to feel out of control of their lives, uncertain about what they want from the future, and paralyzed when faced with decisions. Left unchecked, languishing not only impedes our daily functioning but is a gateway to serious mental illness and early mortality.
Emory University sociologist Corey Keyes has spent his career studying the causes and costs of languishing—the neglected middle child of mental health. Now Keyes has written the first definitive book on the subject, examining the subtle complexities of languishing before deftly diagnosing the larger forces behind its the false promises of the self-help industrial complex, a global moment of intense fear and loss, and a failing healthcare system focused on treating rather than preventing illness.
Ultimately, Keyes presents a groundbreaking approach to breaking the cycles keeping us stuck and finding a path to true flourishing. Unlike self-improvement systems offering quick-fix mood boosts, his framework focuses on functioning taking simple but powerful steps to hold our emotions loosely, becoming more accepting of ourselves and others, and carving out daily moments for the activities that create cycles of meaning, connection, and personal growth.
Languishing is a must-read for anyone tempted to downplay feelings of demotivation and emptiness as they struggle to haul themselves through the day, and for those eager to build a higher tolerance for adversity and the pressures of modern life. We can expand our vocabulary—and, with it, our potential to flourish.
If you’re muddling through the day in a fog, often forgetting why you walked into a room . . .
If you feel emotionally flattened, lacking the energy to socialize or feel joy in the small things . . .
If you feel an inner void—like something is missing, but you aren’t sure what . . .
Then this book is for you.
Languishing—the state of mental weariness that erodes our self-esteem, motivation, and sense of meaning—can be easy to brush off as the new normal, especially since indifference is one of its symptoms. It’s not a synonym for depression and its attendant state of prolonged sadness. Languishers are more likely to feel out of control of their lives, uncertain about what they want from the future, and paralyzed when faced with decisions. Left unchecked, languishing not only impedes our daily functioning but is a gateway to serious mental illness and early mortality.
Emory University sociologist Corey Keyes has spent his career studying the causes and costs of languishing—the neglected middle child of mental health. Now Keyes has written the first definitive book on the subject, examining the subtle complexities of languishing before deftly diagnosing the larger forces behind its the false promises of the self-help industrial complex, a global moment of intense fear and loss, and a failing healthcare system focused on treating rather than preventing illness.
Ultimately, Keyes presents a groundbreaking approach to breaking the cycles keeping us stuck and finding a path to true flourishing. Unlike self-improvement systems offering quick-fix mood boosts, his framework focuses on functioning taking simple but powerful steps to hold our emotions loosely, becoming more accepting of ourselves and others, and carving out daily moments for the activities that create cycles of meaning, connection, and personal growth.
Languishing is a must-read for anyone tempted to downplay feelings of demotivation and emptiness as they struggle to haul themselves through the day, and for those eager to build a higher tolerance for adversity and the pressures of modern life. We can expand our vocabulary—and, with it, our potential to flourish.
304 pages, Hardcover
First published February 20, 2024
About the author
Corey Keyes
1 book23 followersCorey Keyes is a sociologist and professor emeritus at Emory University whose research on mental health—including his pioneering work on the science of human flourishing—has had wide-reaching policy implications. Over the course of his career, he’s advised the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the World Happiness Forum, as well as governmental agencies in Canada, Northern Ireland, and Australia.
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
February 28, 2024
**Many thanks to NetGalley, Crown, and Corey Keyes for an ARC of this book!**
"Health is not just the absence of disease; it is the presence of well-being."
Do you ever feel like you're STUCK in survival mode?
Where each day blurs into the next, the cycle repeating ad nauseum, with little excitement on the horizon...where an overwhelming feeling of nothingness overtakes you...and you just can't explain why?
It's not depression...but it is SO far from the happiness and fulfillment we ALL crave as human beings. Corey Keyes has spent most of his life examining this phenomenon. He first set out to write a book about flourishing, a state where we are at our best, brightest, and most fulfilled. But when his research got into full swing, he realized that so many of us might never reach this pinnacle of mental, spiritual, and physical well being...because we were MIRED in languishing. Keyes is very careful to make the distinction between depression and languishing: languishing can keep us it a sort of prolonged state of inaction, uncertainty, and with a vast lack of motivation.
So what to do with these feelings and WHERE do they come from? Keyes spends the majority of the first half of this book going into detail about the spectrum of mental health and where languishing and flourishing fit in. Basically, decreasing depression does NOT automatically increase happiness (which is a strange concept, but Keyes explains it well!) This first section is also informed by Keyes' background in sociology (he is professor emeritus at Emory University), with charts and graphs, background from the Greeks, and emphasizes that our brain and its emotional life is built on a dual continuum: the opposite of happiness is not exactly sadness. He ends Part 1 with stats on the dramatic increase of anxiety and depression across the board, and how these mental illnesses are being recognized in progressively younger people, and how the pharmaceutical industry of course set out to medicate the problems away...but why isn't our Prozac Nation flourishing, the way he believes we should?
Keyes spends all of Part 2 exploring the 5 'vitamins' he feels we should incorporate into daily life to NATURALLY move ourselves from languishing to (hopefully) flourishing. Vitamin 1 is Learning (new hobbies, new information, new skills, etc) Vitamin 2 is Connection (socializing meaningfully with others), Vitamin 3 is Transcend (engaging in spiritual practices, even outside of organized religion), Vitamin 4 revolves around Help (finding your purpose) and Vitamin 5 is Play (just as simple as it sounds). After a fact-heavy first half where I felt that Keyes had teed up his second half nicely, I was eager to learn more about the vitamins and get more of the sociologist's insights on where, when, and how he thought we could integrate some of these ideas into our current technology-obsessed, isolated, overworked-and-underpaid, crumbling post-pandemic planet.
But what I got was a lot of what I would call blatantly obvious (and at times contradictory) advice.
Most of Keyes' second half can be boiled down to basic principles that have been recycled from self-help guides for years and YEARS on end. It almost felt like I was reading a book about physical health that simply advised me to diet and exercise more. This isn't to say that Keyes' ideas are BAD...they just also aren't always practical. For example, at one point Keyes regales us with a tale of a student of his who had trained for a high-paying career (at the urging of her family) but wasn't committed to the career and felt like her 'calling' was elsewhere. She wanted to move abroad and pursue fulfillment alongside a religious man...and ended up doing just that. Now, this is great and nobody would decry the courage of her convictions...but at the SAME time, Keyes doesn't acknowledge the privilege she possessed to be ABLE to make that choice...and how the vast majority of us wouldn't be able to drop everything and pursue a passion, no matter HOW fulfilling.
Keyes mentions some of the HUGE hurdles to humans being able to actually UTILIZE these vitamins on a daily basis, such as income inequality...but simultaneously glosses over their impact. It was so strange to have all of his little 'action points' tossed in at the end of chapters, but they often read more like soundbites than practical, deep advice. I'm not sure if co-writing this with a therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional would have been helpful? (I know some were probably involved in the research, but not in a co-authoring capacity...it makes you wonder!) For instance, another part of the book that jumped out at me as a new-ish mom was the section on postpartum languishing and how this differs from what we know as PPD. I initially was excited to hear that Keyes had spent time specifically on this subset of women and this issue in particular, and was excited to hear his advice, ESPECIALLY after he acknowledged that so many women are truly missing their 'village' and making all of the mom friends they had been promised they would make.
But Keyes' advice? New moms should...make friends with an old guy sitting on a park bench.
...
😣
I know that Keyes meant well. But as much as I agree that being open minded CAN lead you to the kind of friendships and connections you would never find otherwise, I can say with some level of certainty that connecting with fellow moms in a real and authentic way is infinitely more practical (and beneficial) than hoping for a happenstance meeting in a park. This is just one more example that stuck with me as being rooted in a deep 'desire to inspire', but just didn't feel like the spark I needed to really take Keyes' word for it. There are also not one but TWO jaw dropping out-of-left-field revelations about Keyes' own life and mental health struggles that threw me for a loop (TW: very unexpected mention of suicide attempt), so please be forewarned that these WILL come out of left field! ⛔
Keyes has dedicated his life to the concept of flourishing and languishing, and his accomplishments are indelible in the field, not to mention groundbreaking in many respects. But despite the deep respect and admiration I have for this author at this intense look at what makes us languish or flourish as humans, I think this magnum opus would have served the populous best as a dissertation rather than an attempt at a 'plan of action' orchestration.
3.5 stars
"Health is not just the absence of disease; it is the presence of well-being."
Do you ever feel like you're STUCK in survival mode?
Where each day blurs into the next, the cycle repeating ad nauseum, with little excitement on the horizon...where an overwhelming feeling of nothingness overtakes you...and you just can't explain why?
It's not depression...but it is SO far from the happiness and fulfillment we ALL crave as human beings. Corey Keyes has spent most of his life examining this phenomenon. He first set out to write a book about flourishing, a state where we are at our best, brightest, and most fulfilled. But when his research got into full swing, he realized that so many of us might never reach this pinnacle of mental, spiritual, and physical well being...because we were MIRED in languishing. Keyes is very careful to make the distinction between depression and languishing: languishing can keep us it a sort of prolonged state of inaction, uncertainty, and with a vast lack of motivation.
So what to do with these feelings and WHERE do they come from? Keyes spends the majority of the first half of this book going into detail about the spectrum of mental health and where languishing and flourishing fit in. Basically, decreasing depression does NOT automatically increase happiness (which is a strange concept, but Keyes explains it well!) This first section is also informed by Keyes' background in sociology (he is professor emeritus at Emory University), with charts and graphs, background from the Greeks, and emphasizes that our brain and its emotional life is built on a dual continuum: the opposite of happiness is not exactly sadness. He ends Part 1 with stats on the dramatic increase of anxiety and depression across the board, and how these mental illnesses are being recognized in progressively younger people, and how the pharmaceutical industry of course set out to medicate the problems away...but why isn't our Prozac Nation flourishing, the way he believes we should?
Keyes spends all of Part 2 exploring the 5 'vitamins' he feels we should incorporate into daily life to NATURALLY move ourselves from languishing to (hopefully) flourishing. Vitamin 1 is Learning (new hobbies, new information, new skills, etc) Vitamin 2 is Connection (socializing meaningfully with others), Vitamin 3 is Transcend (engaging in spiritual practices, even outside of organized religion), Vitamin 4 revolves around Help (finding your purpose) and Vitamin 5 is Play (just as simple as it sounds). After a fact-heavy first half where I felt that Keyes had teed up his second half nicely, I was eager to learn more about the vitamins and get more of the sociologist's insights on where, when, and how he thought we could integrate some of these ideas into our current technology-obsessed, isolated, overworked-and-underpaid, crumbling post-pandemic planet.
But what I got was a lot of what I would call blatantly obvious (and at times contradictory) advice.
Most of Keyes' second half can be boiled down to basic principles that have been recycled from self-help guides for years and YEARS on end. It almost felt like I was reading a book about physical health that simply advised me to diet and exercise more. This isn't to say that Keyes' ideas are BAD...they just also aren't always practical. For example, at one point Keyes regales us with a tale of a student of his who had trained for a high-paying career (at the urging of her family) but wasn't committed to the career and felt like her 'calling' was elsewhere. She wanted to move abroad and pursue fulfillment alongside a religious man...and ended up doing just that. Now, this is great and nobody would decry the courage of her convictions...but at the SAME time, Keyes doesn't acknowledge the privilege she possessed to be ABLE to make that choice...and how the vast majority of us wouldn't be able to drop everything and pursue a passion, no matter HOW fulfilling.
Keyes mentions some of the HUGE hurdles to humans being able to actually UTILIZE these vitamins on a daily basis, such as income inequality...but simultaneously glosses over their impact. It was so strange to have all of his little 'action points' tossed in at the end of chapters, but they often read more like soundbites than practical, deep advice. I'm not sure if co-writing this with a therapist, psychologist, or mental health professional would have been helpful? (I know some were probably involved in the research, but not in a co-authoring capacity...it makes you wonder!) For instance, another part of the book that jumped out at me as a new-ish mom was the section on postpartum languishing and how this differs from what we know as PPD. I initially was excited to hear that Keyes had spent time specifically on this subset of women and this issue in particular, and was excited to hear his advice, ESPECIALLY after he acknowledged that so many women are truly missing their 'village' and making all of the mom friends they had been promised they would make.
But Keyes' advice? New moms should...make friends with an old guy sitting on a park bench.
...
😣
I know that Keyes meant well. But as much as I agree that being open minded CAN lead you to the kind of friendships and connections you would never find otherwise, I can say with some level of certainty that connecting with fellow moms in a real and authentic way is infinitely more practical (and beneficial) than hoping for a happenstance meeting in a park. This is just one more example that stuck with me as being rooted in a deep 'desire to inspire', but just didn't feel like the spark I needed to really take Keyes' word for it. There are also not one but TWO jaw dropping out-of-left-field revelations about Keyes' own life and mental health struggles that threw me for a loop (TW: very unexpected mention of suicide attempt), so please be forewarned that these WILL come out of left field! ⛔
Keyes has dedicated his life to the concept of flourishing and languishing, and his accomplishments are indelible in the field, not to mention groundbreaking in many respects. But despite the deep respect and admiration I have for this author at this intense look at what makes us languish or flourish as humans, I think this magnum opus would have served the populous best as a dissertation rather than an attempt at a 'plan of action' orchestration.
3.5 stars
November 8, 2023
I enjoyed this book and learned a good deal. Languishing is something I think we all face at some point in our lives, and Keyes gives insight into how to combat it. He includes a lot of his own experiences, but it wasn’t enough to move this from research-based to memoir. Every major chapter ends with an Action Plan with questions or consider, actions to take, or things to contemplate. This doesn’t read like a book on how to stop languishing, though it does cover that. It more explains languishing, its impacts, its struggles, etc. Keyes writes in a manner that is approachable for any audience; he avoid sounding like academic or theoretical. He presents the material in a way that is understandable and relatable for the average person. The book was very interesting.
I received an ARC from NetGalley.
I received an ARC from NetGalley.
January 26, 2024
🫠 Won in a giveaway 💙
This is a really good self help book. Depression is a word people may hear often, but, at least for me, languishing isn't. This book dives deep into the difference. While I have been focused on my anxiety and times of depression, I didn't look too much into languishing. This book makes a lot of sense for me. This author writes about going from languishing to flourishing. It gives a lot of examples of people who went through it and what they did to help themselves. It talks about how we give up play too early in our younger years because we feel too old. Doing little mundane tasks like cleaning your house can be more fun if you make a game out of it. I liked that idea. It also talks about us feeling better when we feel like we have purpose. That could be volunteering, helping someone in need, just dedicating your time to help someone or a worthy cause. Depending on your mindset, this may seem difficult, but it talks about starting small. I loved the advice in this book and highly recommend it. You're never too old to play and enjoy life and I hope that you do. Thank you to the author, Corey Keyes, Crown Publishing and Goodreads for my free copy. Happy reading. 🫶🫶
This is a really good self help book. Depression is a word people may hear often, but, at least for me, languishing isn't. This book dives deep into the difference. While I have been focused on my anxiety and times of depression, I didn't look too much into languishing. This book makes a lot of sense for me. This author writes about going from languishing to flourishing. It gives a lot of examples of people who went through it and what they did to help themselves. It talks about how we give up play too early in our younger years because we feel too old. Doing little mundane tasks like cleaning your house can be more fun if you make a game out of it. I liked that idea. It also talks about us feeling better when we feel like we have purpose. That could be volunteering, helping someone in need, just dedicating your time to help someone or a worthy cause. Depending on your mindset, this may seem difficult, but it talks about starting small. I loved the advice in this book and highly recommend it. You're never too old to play and enjoy life and I hope that you do. Thank you to the author, Corey Keyes, Crown Publishing and Goodreads for my free copy. Happy reading. 🫶🫶
March 10, 2024
I’m uncomfortable with the way the author talks about mental illness/depression vs the concept of languishing. In chapter four, he essentially tells readers that their mental health medications related to “chemical imbalances” (which he deems are farce) are probably making their lives worse and they’d be no worse off if they didn’t take them; they might be better even! I hope no one takes advice on stopping their medication from a book. He also quotes other doctors who have, at best, problematic views on certain mind-body related conditions, so ultimately this one did not work for me and I wouldn’t recommend.
March 11, 2024
I thought that Languishing was a book that had been pretty much written for me once I read the summary, so I was a bit surprised to find that it was just average after reading it. Corey Keyes first does a decent job defining the terms he is talking about. Languishing is an “absence of wellbeing that millions of people were experiencing but found hard to put into words” during the Covid-19 pandemic. He explains that this state of mind involves a lack of excitement, community disconnection, and “the constant feeling of unease that you’re missing something that will make your life feel complete.” Languishing is not depression or sadness, but Keyes does say it is the opposite of flourishing.
The author then goes on to discuss the daily practices he feels are necessary to move from languishing to flourishing: Learn Something New, Build Trusting Relationships, Move Closer to the Infinite, Find Your Purpose, and Play. Do any of these sound familiar? I haven't read a lot of self-help, but I think that these things have been mentioned in almost every self-help book available. I can't argue with any of them; they are so obvious as to almost be common sense.
While I respect Mr. Keyes' research in flourishing/languishing, some of his action plans seemed a bit vague to me and I'm afraid they would also feel overly forced. I think that the pandemic was an obvious time for so many people to feel as if they were languishing; before vaccines, we needed to be mired in a state of languishing to feel safe. But I also think that languishing has been a "normal" state for me after times of great change such as having children, the kids leaving home when they are grown, changing jobs, or or retiring from work. I view it as a time where I've paused and asked myself "What's next?". It's not just a stop on the way to flourishing or happiness, but using periodic languishing can be a way toward finding contentment. I think this subject and pertinent information could have been better presented as an article or TED talk.
The author then goes on to discuss the daily practices he feels are necessary to move from languishing to flourishing: Learn Something New, Build Trusting Relationships, Move Closer to the Infinite, Find Your Purpose, and Play. Do any of these sound familiar? I haven't read a lot of self-help, but I think that these things have been mentioned in almost every self-help book available. I can't argue with any of them; they are so obvious as to almost be common sense.
While I respect Mr. Keyes' research in flourishing/languishing, some of his action plans seemed a bit vague to me and I'm afraid they would also feel overly forced. I think that the pandemic was an obvious time for so many people to feel as if they were languishing; before vaccines, we needed to be mired in a state of languishing to feel safe. But I also think that languishing has been a "normal" state for me after times of great change such as having children, the kids leaving home when they are grown, changing jobs, or or retiring from work. I view it as a time where I've paused and asked myself "What's next?". It's not just a stop on the way to flourishing or happiness, but using periodic languishing can be a way toward finding contentment. I think this subject and pertinent information could have been better presented as an article or TED talk.
March 17, 2024
Thank you to Net Galley and Crown Publishing for the ARC in exchange for my honest review. This book delves into the idea of languishing, different from depression and burnout, a term coined by the author where one feels emotionally flat, unease, inevitability, procrastination, disconnected, loss of meaning in one's job, brain fog, unsure of opinions and lack motivation. In reading the book, I could relate to these feelings of being blah, checked out and not invested in one's life - a numbness. The first part is a deep dive into what languishing is and how our culture and society play a large part in the pervasive idea that we, on our own, should be able to deal with it and correct it. The author provides action plans and steps to reframe our idea of who we are and to become more resilient to negative thoughts about ourselves. The second part is how to deal with languishing and how to get help - self-growth, building relationships, acceptance of ourselves as we are, finding purpose and incorporating play into our lives. I enjoyed this book and the key ideas were great reminders of how everyone can to move towards a happier life.
December 27, 2023
I don’t read a lot of self-help books, but like a lot of people post-pandemic, I find that I am struggling to stay engaged and find energy and meaning. Languishing wants to take its readers from languishing to flourishing. Author Keyes hit home with me right from this passage in the Introduction: “The simple question ‘How are you?’ can feel like an unwelcome pop quiz, leaving you casting about for a socially acceptable response, not quite knowing the answer yourself.” Keyes includes a list of 12 symptoms of languishing, and all 12 of them rang true.
That said, I don’t feel like this book presented me with a clear path to change. I agreed with a lot of what I was reading (much of which I’ve read elsewhere but not all in one place), but I don’t feel inspired to run out and act on the Action Plans. I guess that’s the real challenge though, if you aren’t feeling inspired, to find inspiration and change.
Some of the sad but true areas the author covers are an epidemic of loneliness, the need for a certain amount of adversity to find a high life satisfaction, the necessity of finding purpose in life, and the joy of play. The chapter on play especially resonated with me. He writes about how many people these days are so obsessed with documenting whatever they are doing that they forgot to live in the moment. A lesson for everyone: “Don’t let your smartphone and your obsession with social media remove all the joy from your joy, okay?” (chapter 9)
This book is part memoir and part self-help. The author lived through an abusive childhood and continues to struggle with his own mental health. This helped me feel that this person at least understands what he is writing about. I also agree with him that we need to spend more time, money and effort on mental health, not just mental illness.
This is a gently encouraging book that I continue to think about. If you are feeling worn down and are struggling to find meaning, you may find Languishing worth a read. I read an advance reader copy of Languishing.
That said, I don’t feel like this book presented me with a clear path to change. I agreed with a lot of what I was reading (much of which I’ve read elsewhere but not all in one place), but I don’t feel inspired to run out and act on the Action Plans. I guess that’s the real challenge though, if you aren’t feeling inspired, to find inspiration and change.
Some of the sad but true areas the author covers are an epidemic of loneliness, the need for a certain amount of adversity to find a high life satisfaction, the necessity of finding purpose in life, and the joy of play. The chapter on play especially resonated with me. He writes about how many people these days are so obsessed with documenting whatever they are doing that they forgot to live in the moment. A lesson for everyone: “Don’t let your smartphone and your obsession with social media remove all the joy from your joy, okay?” (chapter 9)
This book is part memoir and part self-help. The author lived through an abusive childhood and continues to struggle with his own mental health. This helped me feel that this person at least understands what he is writing about. I also agree with him that we need to spend more time, money and effort on mental health, not just mental illness.
This is a gently encouraging book that I continue to think about. If you are feeling worn down and are struggling to find meaning, you may find Languishing worth a read. I read an advance reader copy of Languishing.
March 12, 2024
This was very interesting.
The author is not a psychologist but a sociologist, which is a good thing to keep in mind while reading the book because it is focused on community and our relationships with ourselves and other people.
His main premise is that we are not one-dimensional beings, and our feelings are not either/or, neither is our mental health. If you don't have a mental illness, it doesn't mean that you are flourishing. And even if you have one, it doesn't mean you cannot flourish. The author then proceeds to describe five areas that can help us live more fulfilling lives: learning for self-growth, quality relationships, spirituality, life purpose, and play.
It's a well-structured book that offers personal stories, research, and action plans for each of the areas. I found some things better explained and helpful than others. I was left with some questions, and some of his advice is easier to implement than others. However, I appreciate the conversation about how a lack of close-knit communities is affecting our well-being and the idea that if one isn't depressed, it doesn't mean one is automatically happy.
The author is not a psychologist but a sociologist, which is a good thing to keep in mind while reading the book because it is focused on community and our relationships with ourselves and other people.
His main premise is that we are not one-dimensional beings, and our feelings are not either/or, neither is our mental health. If you don't have a mental illness, it doesn't mean that you are flourishing. And even if you have one, it doesn't mean you cannot flourish. The author then proceeds to describe five areas that can help us live more fulfilling lives: learning for self-growth, quality relationships, spirituality, life purpose, and play.
It's a well-structured book that offers personal stories, research, and action plans for each of the areas. I found some things better explained and helpful than others. I was left with some questions, and some of his advice is easier to implement than others. However, I appreciate the conversation about how a lack of close-knit communities is affecting our well-being and the idea that if one isn't depressed, it doesn't mean one is automatically happy.
Read
October 28, 2023This book spoke to me. I had heard the title word before but the information presented went into great detail about what it means. I found it interesting to learn about languishing at different ages as well! Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC.
January 18, 2024
My thanks to both NetGalley and the publisher Crown Publishing for an advanced copy of this book that is part memoir and part study of those feelings that so many of us are experiencing, making the days longer and less purposeful, and how we can try to get back on track.
When I was a kid everyone always talked about having a case of the blues, or the blahs. Or the not want to get out of beds. This was common, songs were written about it, I think cartoon characters talked about these feelings, and I remember cause I had them too. Days were things just didn't make sense. That things just didn't seem to be going the way they should, or that others said they should be going for me. Today these blues, blahs or whatever one wants to call them, seem to be effecting more people. There are jokes about people not wanting to be hang around with others, just staying home and not being happy, but being less stressful than being with others. And as we all know jokes are just a way sometimes of not admitting pain. Blame the pandemic, blame the current state of politics, the climate, or social media, this feeling is leading to deeper mental issues with lots of people, and shows no signs of going away. Corey Keyes has a word for this and in his book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, discusses this feeling, using his own experiences, research, and observation of the lives of others.
The book is part memoir, part study of the idea of languishing, and plans and actions one can take to not be stuck in place any more. There are a lot of reasons why many of us feel that life is not worth striving for, that plans have come to naught. Social media and its expectations and examples. Politics and the fact that many have learned that society cares very little for each other. There are many reasons. And this feeling of languishing can lead to deeper mental issues, depressions, suicide and other issues. Keyes looks at many factors, and gives suggestions and action plans to deal with most of them. The book also gives many examples from others including the author, who did not have the greatest of upbringings.
The book is different than a lot of other self-improvement books as Keyes is more of a sociologist, and brings a more research based and genuine facts to the page. There is no oh soon this Happiness Project will help you Rules over your Subtle Art of not giving a Fudge, or whatever the latest buzz words in self-imporment are. Keyes has suggestion, and plans, which might help, but these only work with the work put into them. And sometimes when languishing it is hard to get going, again something Keyes understands. Keyes is a very good writer, not trying to rah-rah a person to better thinking but presenting well reasoned, rational arguments to remind a person why life matters. And that the person you help might not just be yourself, but could be others.
A very good look at what a lot of us are dealing with, with practical ideas that might help. Again the tools are presented, we just have to try them out and see what happens. And frankly what it the worst that could happen? Everything stays the same, or maybe things get better. Seems like a simple choice.
When I was a kid everyone always talked about having a case of the blues, or the blahs. Or the not want to get out of beds. This was common, songs were written about it, I think cartoon characters talked about these feelings, and I remember cause I had them too. Days were things just didn't make sense. That things just didn't seem to be going the way they should, or that others said they should be going for me. Today these blues, blahs or whatever one wants to call them, seem to be effecting more people. There are jokes about people not wanting to be hang around with others, just staying home and not being happy, but being less stressful than being with others. And as we all know jokes are just a way sometimes of not admitting pain. Blame the pandemic, blame the current state of politics, the climate, or social media, this feeling is leading to deeper mental issues with lots of people, and shows no signs of going away. Corey Keyes has a word for this and in his book, Languishing: How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down, discusses this feeling, using his own experiences, research, and observation of the lives of others.
The book is part memoir, part study of the idea of languishing, and plans and actions one can take to not be stuck in place any more. There are a lot of reasons why many of us feel that life is not worth striving for, that plans have come to naught. Social media and its expectations and examples. Politics and the fact that many have learned that society cares very little for each other. There are many reasons. And this feeling of languishing can lead to deeper mental issues, depressions, suicide and other issues. Keyes looks at many factors, and gives suggestions and action plans to deal with most of them. The book also gives many examples from others including the author, who did not have the greatest of upbringings.
The book is different than a lot of other self-improvement books as Keyes is more of a sociologist, and brings a more research based and genuine facts to the page. There is no oh soon this Happiness Project will help you Rules over your Subtle Art of not giving a Fudge, or whatever the latest buzz words in self-imporment are. Keyes has suggestion, and plans, which might help, but these only work with the work put into them. And sometimes when languishing it is hard to get going, again something Keyes understands. Keyes is a very good writer, not trying to rah-rah a person to better thinking but presenting well reasoned, rational arguments to remind a person why life matters. And that the person you help might not just be yourself, but could be others.
A very good look at what a lot of us are dealing with, with practical ideas that might help. Again the tools are presented, we just have to try them out and see what happens. And frankly what it the worst that could happen? Everything stays the same, or maybe things get better. Seems like a simple choice.
March 20, 2024
I skimmed through this book as it was really more inappropriate read for a younger audience. By the time you reach your 60s, most of the lessons in the book are somewhat self-evident. The author did have a small section on the impact of aging regarding languishing. I noted two of his observations below that I wholeheartedly agree with.
It's an easy and quick read and I think many readers who are struggling with languishing will find it useful.
My notes below:
Languishing symptoms:
You feel emotionally flattened. It's hard to muster up excitement for events and milestones on the horizon.
More and more things strike you as irrelevant, superficial, or boring
You regularly experience brain fog.
It's hard to find the motivation to reach out to friends and family and to maintain relationships that were once important to you. You've been finding it more difficult to feel close to people.
Something very interesting happens as we get older: relationships tend to be perceived as more intimate and satisfying. In fact, in some cases, the reduction in the quantity of social contact is a deliberate attempt to improve the quality of social contact.
As we grow older and recognize we have less life left to live, we are more likely to assess others based on whether they can provide emotionally close and satisfying contact. We no longer suffer fools gladly, and we choose to spend less and less time with people whom we do not admire, care about, or have feelings for. There is also evidence that we are better able to prevent unpleasant interpersonal changes as we age.
The five vitamins for flourishing:
1. Follow your curiosity to learn something new.
2. Build warm and trusting relationships.
3. Move closer to the sacred, the divine and the infinite through contemplation, meditation or other spiritual practices.
4. Have and live your purpose.
5. Play make time for activities where you enjoy the process not the outcome.
Happiness is like a butterfly. If you chase it directly, it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come sit softly on your shoulder. Henry David Thoreau
It's an easy and quick read and I think many readers who are struggling with languishing will find it useful.
My notes below:
Languishing symptoms:
You feel emotionally flattened. It's hard to muster up excitement for events and milestones on the horizon.
More and more things strike you as irrelevant, superficial, or boring
You regularly experience brain fog.
It's hard to find the motivation to reach out to friends and family and to maintain relationships that were once important to you. You've been finding it more difficult to feel close to people.
Something very interesting happens as we get older: relationships tend to be perceived as more intimate and satisfying. In fact, in some cases, the reduction in the quantity of social contact is a deliberate attempt to improve the quality of social contact.
As we grow older and recognize we have less life left to live, we are more likely to assess others based on whether they can provide emotionally close and satisfying contact. We no longer suffer fools gladly, and we choose to spend less and less time with people whom we do not admire, care about, or have feelings for. There is also evidence that we are better able to prevent unpleasant interpersonal changes as we age.
The five vitamins for flourishing:
1. Follow your curiosity to learn something new.
2. Build warm and trusting relationships.
3. Move closer to the sacred, the divine and the infinite through contemplation, meditation or other spiritual practices.
4. Have and live your purpose.
5. Play make time for activities where you enjoy the process not the outcome.
Happiness is like a butterfly. If you chase it directly, it will elude you. But if you turn your attention to other things, it will come sit softly on your shoulder. Henry David Thoreau
March 10, 2024
Thanks to Crown for providing this ARC through a Goodreads Giveaway.
From Vocabulary.com:
"Languish is from the Latin word languere which means to be weak or faint.... A Romantic poet might languish on a velvet couch with the back of her hand to her forehead."
This is what I understood languish to mean. The author provides a richer definition of the word and the challenges of that state of mind. After answering the questionnaires in the book, I realized I've languished at different points in time of my life (minus the velvet couch).
He also outlines 5 vitamins of Flourishing each with a chapter that has helpful and consumable suggestions for an action plan:
1. Personal Growth and Narrative Identity
2. Relationships
3. Move Closer to the Infinite
4. Meaning, Mattering and the Mundane
5. Play as Resistance
Since I'm older and have read a lot of Self-Help, there weren't any new insights but the author has packed a lot of information in 200+ pages. This would have been helpful earlier in my life, to monitor for signs in my daughter and myself and take concrete actions to move to a flourishing state more quickly.
From Vocabulary.com:
"Languish is from the Latin word languere which means to be weak or faint.... A Romantic poet might languish on a velvet couch with the back of her hand to her forehead."
This is what I understood languish to mean. The author provides a richer definition of the word and the challenges of that state of mind. After answering the questionnaires in the book, I realized I've languished at different points in time of my life (minus the velvet couch).
He also outlines 5 vitamins of Flourishing each with a chapter that has helpful and consumable suggestions for an action plan:
1. Personal Growth and Narrative Identity
2. Relationships
3. Move Closer to the Infinite
4. Meaning, Mattering and the Mundane
5. Play as Resistance
Since I'm older and have read a lot of Self-Help, there weren't any new insights but the author has packed a lot of information in 200+ pages. This would have been helpful earlier in my life, to monitor for signs in my daughter and myself and take concrete actions to move to a flourishing state more quickly.
March 19, 2024
Languishing is about a state of being -- not depressed, not happy, just "meh." -- and for me this manifests itself in low energy and feeling numb. The author outlines a mental health continuum and part two of the book outlines actions to help move from languishing to flourishing. There is a checklist or quiz to measure "flourishing" and fortunately it says you don't have to check every box every single day but need 6 out of the 11 -- for me the section on psychological well-being I can check off - it's the emotional and social that sometimes lags. I found this to be a helpful framework to help guide me on where I need to focus my actions. As they say - there is no magic pill to address this (even if Big Pharma would like you to think otherwise!). I really liked the chapter on "Play." As we get older, this notion of playfulness gets repressed as we become "responsible and serious" adults -- the joy of fun and play is completely reenergizing and helps me flourish. An interesting and helpful read.
Thank you to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for an ARC and I voluntarily left this review
Thank you to Netgalley and Crown Publishing for an ARC and I voluntarily left this review
February 27, 2024
Like many people during the pandemic, I read Adam Grant's essay on languishing and felt seen in a way I hadn't before. I appreciated having a term for what it meant to not be mentally unwell, but not exactly thriving, either. So when I saw this book, I had to pick it up. I had assumed it was written by the author of the popular New York Times piece, but, alas, it wasn't.
I dove into the book with high hopes, wanting more of what the article delivered. And I got some of that. The topic is fascinating and deeply relatable, but the writing style was much too dry and academic in nature. I kept finding my attention straying, and I'd have to go back and re-read entire paragraphs because my mind kept wandering.
I was also disappointed by the practical suggestions for moving from languishing to flourishing. It was a bit like being told to eat more vegetables--good for me, sure, but hardly a revelation.
Still, the book is relatable and relevant to our collective experience, and I'm glad I read it. I just wish it was more memorable and impactful overall.
I dove into the book with high hopes, wanting more of what the article delivered. And I got some of that. The topic is fascinating and deeply relatable, but the writing style was much too dry and academic in nature. I kept finding my attention straying, and I'd have to go back and re-read entire paragraphs because my mind kept wandering.
I was also disappointed by the practical suggestions for moving from languishing to flourishing. It was a bit like being told to eat more vegetables--good for me, sure, but hardly a revelation.
Still, the book is relatable and relevant to our collective experience, and I'm glad I read it. I just wish it was more memorable and impactful overall.
March 22, 2024
I am trying to read more nonfiction this year, and I really connected with this idea of languishing and wanted to learn more. Languishing is not exactly the same thing as being depressed, but they can also go hand in hand, but languishing is more like feeling you lack a purpose in life and feeling incredibly unmotivated and discouraged and kind of going through life 'in a fog'. I've been feeling a little slumpy lately with life and I feel like I've been experiencing languishing, so it was definitely interesting to learn more about it. Some of this worked for me, and some of it didn't. I don't typically read a lot of self help, some of it felt a little preachy to me at times, especially when it came to talking about religion and spirituality. But I do feel like I learned a few things, or it at the very least got me thinking about certain aspects of my life I could improve, which is why I wanted to read it. I'm glad I read it.
February 23, 2024
I was so pleased when I first heard Adam Grant discuss the term “languishing”, and I felt incredibly seen. Then when I saw this book on his list of recommended 2024 releases I immediately knew I needed to read it. And man did it live up to my expectations. I love a good nonfiction book backed by science and full of great studies but only if it takes it a step further and gives you actual, actionable advise, and this one did! And not just a fleeting summary chapter either but a solid half of the book focused on science-backed methods to increase flourishing. The writing is also interesting and dynamic and keeps your attention. Overall one of the best “self-help” books I’ve read in quite some time.
March 16, 2024
Seek out challenges and people and situations that will bring me out of my complacency.
Today do one thing differently than you did yesterday.
Focus on quality not quantity.
Spend more time sitting, thinking, meditating, focusing on breathing.
Commit to my values and focus on what is important to me.
You can't always choose who and what experiences come your way, but you can choose which ones can stay. which ones you will focus on.
Active leisure rather than passive. Find experiences rather than things.
Don't just have a purpose but live a life OF purpose.
Today do one thing differently than you did yesterday.
Focus on quality not quantity.
Spend more time sitting, thinking, meditating, focusing on breathing.
Commit to my values and focus on what is important to me.
You can't always choose who and what experiences come your way, but you can choose which ones can stay. which ones you will focus on.
Active leisure rather than passive. Find experiences rather than things.
Don't just have a purpose but live a life OF purpose.
March 16, 2024
When I first read about this new term it was compelling enough to draw me to this book. Keyes did a fine job of sharing the research and background of its development including a range of interesting and practical points all from the perspective of a sociologist. A small quibble -it got a bit messy in the section about vitamins - something about the organization, chapter headings etc. took away from the clarity of the message. The effort of offering a series of action plans was a plus but they didn't seem to be quite enough to really be helpful or enough to prompt/support someone to change.
March 28, 2024
This book did little to alleviate my state of languishing or help me feel alive again. It was sound in its thesis and most of the research and points valid but I felt like the author brought too much of his personal experience into the narrative. In some places it almost felt like how dare you privileged people feel bad given how much I have suffered and overcome in my life which might be valid but also wasn't a good fit for this format.
Also, this was one of those narrators for the audiobook that made me want to throw things against the wall.
Also, this was one of those narrators for the audiobook that made me want to throw things against the wall.
March 29, 2024
In "Flourish and Languish," the author delves into the emerging concept of languishing alongside the well-established notion of flourishing. Drawing on extensive research, including his own, he provides insights into the factors that contribute to both states. Despite his expertise, the author candidly shares personal struggles, demonstrating the universality of human experience. This blend of academic depth and personal narrative offers valuable insights, making it a book worth revisiting for its wealth of wisdom.
February 26, 2024
Mind blown: a decrease in depression does not equal an increase in happiness. Keyes describes a dual continuum, a scale of no depression to high depression parallel to one of languishing to flourishing. A scientific yet humane guide to the “vitamins” of life (connection, spirituality, play, etc.) that help us thrive.
March 5, 2024
This is such an important book. It’s so nice to see a discussion on the fact that you can be free of anxiety and depression but still languishing rather than flourishing.
I suspect we have all been there, I know I have. Dr Corey gives us thinking points to really get to the heart of languishing and help us all grow and flourish.
#Languishing #NetGalley
I suspect we have all been there, I know I have. Dr Corey gives us thinking points to really get to the heart of languishing and help us all grow and flourish.
#Languishing #NetGalley
Shelved as '01-jan24-wait-and-see'
January 18, 2024Adam Grant rec
February 4, 2024
This book was exactly what I needed. A mix of stories and science, it’s approachable and inviting.
March 7, 2024
Languishing
This book is a manual for someone whose life is suboptimal..it gives tips of how despite having negative experiences you can turn things around and flourish.
This book is a manual for someone whose life is suboptimal..it gives tips of how despite having negative experiences you can turn things around and flourish.
April 2, 2024
Not wowed by this. I thought it would have served more of a punch than it did - especially with the “ways to get out of languishing” advice. It just wasn’t very groundbreaking, and I hate to say that because the author seems very protective over languishing.
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